The Cliffs of Insanity

This needs posting.

I think I'm developing...mad kid skillz.

I got Aunt Tudi to the hand doctor and decided to sit next to the massive saltwater fish tank in the waiting room because I have a deep love for fish (this has nothing to do with Barry Andrews' fish fascination..it's a coincidence). I hadn't been sitting a full minute when this woman comes in with her 3.5 and 4.5 year old girls. They both ran squealing to the tank, about a foot away from me. I just know I'm gonna end up with a cold. Those kid-things are walking germ factories. So they started tapping on the glass and acting like idiots despite their mother telling them to stop. I couldn't be angry with the mother, she was in a cast and couldn't very well jerk their little asses up and put them into seats. Still though, if the mother had been doing her job all along, the kids wouldn't have been so out of control.

Just when I was about to get really pissy with them, because I don't tolerate animal abuse, and tapping on a fish tank is abuse as far as I'm concerned, I saw a clown fish emerge from behind the coral. I said in my sweetest voice, "Hey! Ever see Finding Nemo?" And I pointed the hapless fish out to them.

"Nemooo!" they screeched in chorus, and my head just rattled, but I kept my cool.

"Yeaaah, it's a Nemo fish! Now, you remember when Nemo was captured and put in a fish tank just like this?"

"Unh-huh!"

"And do you remember how the fish got all freaked out when people would tap on the glass of the fish tank?"
"Uh-huh..." Their voices were smaller this time.

I nodded at the fish and looked really sad. Then I said, "Well, you're kinda freakin' the fish out, including Nemo there." And I cocked my head in the clown fish's direction. They sobered up immediately. The mom mouthed a 'thank you' at me. Wha?

The rest of our lov-er-ly time together was spent with their hands behind their backs as they asked me questions about the various fish in the tank. The mom was called back before Aunt Tudi because we got there a little early and the mom apparently had an earlier appointment time. She called her girls to come with her to the back and the eldest got right in my face and said, "You have pretty eyes!" Then she ran off.

So I didn't have to kill any children today and one of them is apparently a Goth in the making. Sa-weet. I took some pictures of that tank by the way, but I don't have time to upload them right now. Maybe tomorrow.

Now back to my regularly-scheduled whatever.