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Don't have kids.
Seriously. My maternal grandmother was never big on kids, but ended up having my Mother Unit in spite of that. She eventually left her daughter to be raised by her aunt and uncle, so she could continue to pursue her career in singing. Then the Mother Unit, who was never crazy about kids herself, met and married my father, who wanted kids. Together, they ended up having yours truly.
But it was always Aunt Tudi who expressed that maternal vibe to me, from the moment I was brought home at the age of three days old. Eventually, the Mother Unit asked Aunt Tudi if she would mind caring for me, so she could go back to work. It was a perfect arrangement for them both. When I was six, my parents split up, basically because my father was a controlling asshole more often than could be tolerated by any sane person. So my Mother Unit left him. And she returned to New York City, which was the only place she really knew. The city was a bad place to raise children during this time in the early 70s, so the Mother Unit asked Aunt Tudi if she could leave me with her, after my time in the Father Unit's custoday was an exercise in insanity. He lost it when they divorced, and he showered his venom for the Mother Unit on me, as I was the only one there to listen at the time.
I was eventually given to Aunt Tudi, who took me home to Asheville, from living in Reidville, SC. Both she and Granny, Aunt Tudi's mother and my paternal grandmother, took it upon themselves to raise me in a safe and educational environment.
As I grew up, I realised that I had an extreme dislike for children. Now, I believe that this proclivity toward finding children distasteful is genetic and that I received that particular gene from the Mother Unit, who had also gotten the gene from her mother. The big difference between me and the Units, though, is that I never had children. I made a conscious choice to make certain that I would never be saddled with a child.
Of course, I grew up in an entirely different generation where I was afforded more options and was more educated about "family planning," so I can't really blame the Grandmother Unit or the Mother Unit for the choices that they made and their basic genetic natures. Everything can be traced back to our DNA, but it is up to us, if we have the ability, to bring to a halt certain genetic proclivities.
In my adult years, I have had a very good relationship with the Mother Unit and the Father Unit, before he died. I even got to establish a relationship with the Grandmother Unit before she passed. The Mother Unit has always been a presence in my life, even though we have lived apart since 1974. She was never a stranger to me and, for that, I am grateful. I doubt I would have acted in the same manner if I had had a child.
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