To NaNo or not to NaNo?
Oct. 4th, 2010 10:04 am[Poll #1627498]
Beat Poetry
Dec. 20th, 2009 04:35 pmWhen all is dreaming out amongst the night, my dearest darlings
You and I, we're wont to fly, like wraiths and dreams,
delighted Darklings
When moon is bright with howl of wolf
And Piper's Gate at Dawn is locked
'Gainst all but the mad and lost
You and I, we're wont to dream, like flights of fancy
dark in the delights of our reverie
As ripples drawn against the reflection
Cast upon a secret sacred pool
We'll see the promise of all the delights
What the Earth has to offer
And those ripples go ever outward
Growing larger and taking in the whole of Creation
The ever-hungering Hermit who winds the clock
With utmost concern to be had.
I ended with Cadmus pondering his altar and the fact that he...just shed some tears! I know, what the hell, right? I thought the same thing yesterday when I wrote it. That's pretty much why I stopped writing, because I was angry with the story at it heading in that direction so soon. But, the story knows better than I. As the Cylons would say, "All this has happened before, and all of it will happen again."
Honestly though, I can't believe I've finished early, especially after being so sick for so long. I attribute part of it to my sharpening my speed skills with those Date stories. I was pumping out two and three thousand words a day at times with those, so 1667 words was really not an issue for me. I was ridiculously ahead when I fell ill and used my reserve to fortify my word count, so I was never really behind like I thought I was.
I'm about 20,000 words away from actually finishing The Blood Crown. I'm going to continue writing on it today but, tomorrow, I have a review to write for Lighterthief's EP, Hard Listening. The release is on 1 December, and I promised Stuart Rowe I'd have the review for him to spread around at the time of the release. And, no, I haven't been procrastinating on this. I just got the press kit today, so I'm jumping on this to help the Lighterthief crew out...and Barry Andrews, of course. ::big wicked grin:: I've already forwarded the press kit to the contacts I still have in the music business, asking them to spread it around like warm butter.
After the reviews, I've promised acook I would write a collaborative J-fic with
gunslingaaahhh that involves Femme Joker (you'll just have to wait and see what that's all about) and Batman. We'll be working on that in December. Once that's done, my J-fic writing days will come to a conclusion. I think that's rather fitting, since I saw the movie last December and began writing fics in January. I'll just end it all on my kind of one year anniversary. The Joker Blogs are also coming to an end soon, so it all works out nicely in the Great Scheme of Things.
Then it will be back to The Blood Crown with a vengeance. I want to finish as soon as I can so I can go directly into The Augury of Gideon. I'm in a serious mood to write my Vampires, particularly Cadmus Pariah and the mortated (that's a word in my book ~ mortation - the transformation of a Vampire back into mortal form) Faust, now going by his mortal name Kallum. Writing "The Sainted Confessor" almost killed me, but it also kind of redeemed me writing-wise, and it gave me the key to writing The Augury of Gideon, so I'm excited. Very excited indeed and absolutely, all billshat aside.
I don't know what 2010 will bring, except a new Shriekback album I wholly intend to help promote to the full extent of my resources and abilities, but I do know I'll be writing my way through it all, and still looking for that elusive publisher. There's so much more for Cadmus to do...to so many people. I'll close with this, because I can - ha ha ha!
Cadmus had broken the Circle long before. He’d stood shortly after Kelat’s speech and walked away from the other Vampires. Let them remain in solemnity, wallowing in fairy tales and dead religions. He was outcast. He would embrace his station and leave them to it. He stood at a secret window in the sanctuary, staring up into the infinity of the stars that watched over this lush garden of a planet, a bounty to both human and Vampire, and especially to Cadmus Pariah. The whites of his eyes shimmered in the pale light, but the iris and pupil absorbed even the faintest of beams. He’d spent centuries listening to people praise the ethereal beauty of his eyes, how alien and magnetic they were. Many of these same people had had their souls ripped from them by way of those magnificent, measureless eyes. He felt every one of them now, and heard them too, whispering still in desperation for release.
Getting Close
Nov. 24th, 2009 11:06 pmIf I don't end up with another rare tropical disease, I think I'm going to win NaNoWriMo. I won't have The Blood Crown finished, but I'll have it about three-quarters of the way, so it won't take long to bring it to a satisfactory conclusion. I already have that in my mind. The only thing I don't know about is what Cadmus and Orphaeus face when they finally enter the catacombs under the Vatican. I guess they'll tell me when they get there. Cadmus has certainly been wordy of late, so I'm sure he'll disclose what he needs to when he feels like it. Ha ha!
Not My Slave
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The Halfway Mark
Nov. 15th, 2009 07:48 pmRecovering
Nov. 15th, 2009 02:20 pmDoes this mean I'm getting better?
Does this mean things in general will get better?
If Cadmus can have a sense of humour about literature, involving Stephen King, John Fowles, and Clive Barker...then I can be optimistic.
Here's to Dengue!
True Colours
Nov. 14th, 2009 03:03 amBut then iTunes decided to play "True Colours" by Cyndi Lauper. This is the song that helped create the Angel that began to visit Faust during his tribulation. She always came to him in a kind of a rainbow and would disappear by descending into his body. This song also said a lot about the character of Faust. Despite his Vampiric nature, he never lost his human spirit, which was inherently good. He was a genuinely good soul. I want to show this in The Augury of Gideon, even though his mortal self returns as a little wounded. He returns with memories of what Cadmus did to him as Faust and he finds himself being forced to align with the entity who visited such agony upon his person.
Then again, had it not been for Cadmus, Faust would never have been sainted. He would never have returned to his mortal state as Kallum McCreary. I'm wondering if Kallum will purchase a Triquetra to wear in The Augury of Gideon. Not only would it be a nod of appreciation and honour to Bear McCreary, but it would also fit in the story, representing the three Vampire Relics and the fact that Kallum will be the key to unlocking the Augury of Gideon. I'm thinking it will be Cadmus who actually finds it, who lays his hands upon the relic first. He's the one who is in possession of the first relic, the chalice of Kelat, and he's the one who claims the Blood Crown, even though it eventually goes into Kelat's possession, since she is the only who can touch the thing without falling into a kind of coma.
But that's a story for later on in The Blood Crown. I have the feeling that I may actually win NaNoWriMo because I'm so eager to finish The Blood Crown so I can get back to Kallum. Watching the movie Wanted has not been a great help to me. James McAvoy's secondary anchorage to the character is stronger for the mortal Kallum than it was to the Vampire Faust. One thing that won't change is Kallum's cerulean eyes. James McAvoy gifted those to the Vampire and he'll continue to gift them to the sainted mortal.
So strange that a plot device has become so important to the overall story. Then again, Cadmus was a plot device at one time. Now he's the main character. Funny how the characters demand their place in the world of my making. Do we do the same with God?
Before I go any further, I want to be very clear here. Yes, I wait for my characters to tell me things and inhabit me in a way. Yes, that might sound crazy. If it does, I make no apologies for that. Perhaps it's because you don't understand the creative process and therefore dismiss it as the thinking processes of someone who is of questionable sanity. If so, I say that it's your loss and I feel sorry for you. That said, on to the revelations of Cadmus.
Take today, for instance: Cadmus has always had this nondescript home on the eastern edge of the West Country, about a hour away from London. He's close enough to prey upon the large Vampire population of London, but far enough away for him to also maintain his herd of humans in peace, away from prying eyes. His home always seemed to be comprised of long halls and multiple small rooms, but that's all that ever came to me. Today, Cadmus explained the nature of his home. He's been in England for close to a thousand years and would have had access to structures others would not normally have. He also has certain powers, like geasa, which he could use to hide things. So it turns out his home in the West Country is actually a very small castle, long forgotten by the people of the region. It contains a maze underneath wherein Cadmus throws away the dead or even dying cattle.
This is what he intends to do with Madeleine, actually, but certain things about her save her from that fate. Now this opened up another question about her relationship with Cadmus. She has known him since 1981 and established Magnificat with him under the name of Mary Magdalene. She fell in love at first site with him and he placed a thralling kiss upon her to hold her in that moment of love so that she could become his working partner and still maintain the hope that there would be more, despite watching him take person after person off his home in the country. Through it all, she stuck with him. But he disappears for a time after the events of The Chalice and she has become more insistent in trying to find him. Her separation from him as weakened the enthrallment to the point that she's actually going to his West Country home and waiting for him to return. Another kiss won't work now...she's become too empowered after tasting mental and emotional freedom. So does he just kill her outright? How can he collect her blood? And, what's more important, how can he collect her soul? Because that's what Cadmus really wants, is his partner's spirit.
I think it may be time for a consummation. Cadmus didn't even tup his bride because he wanted her to remain inviolate. It's safe to assume that, since he's alive, he must sometimes relieve certain biological *ahem* needs, but it's always been a given that he does so on his own, not needing or wanting the touch of another. But I think he might feel more kindly toward her and allow her that consummation. Prior to the Night of the Chalice, Cadmus was essentially emotionless except for moments of extreme rage or hatred. This is explained in "Sui Generis." His emotions were switched on by the his conflict with Kelat that night and, now, he's beginning to explore those more in the Blood Crown. This is a good way to show how far he's come from the events in "The Sainted Confessor."
Of course, after that, it's back to business as usual. And what grisly business it is. For the entire course of this chapter, Cadmus is going to be speaking to me and through me. If I come across as exceedingly polite, yet vicious, that's the reason why. Just tell me to snap out of it. The other day, I said something to someone and J and Faust both came out in the two short sentences I wrote. God help me, I'm a walking bag of insane characters. And NaNo has just begun!
Days before NaNo
Oct. 30th, 2009 12:54 amAs soon as I finish "The Artist's Date," I need to complete my outline of The Blood Crown for NaNoWriMo. "The Sainted Confessor" was always going to be the largest chapter in the book and, since I had to go ahead and write it thanks to anchoring Faust to the worst person on Earth, it totally messes with my word count for NaNo. It reached novella status, it got so huge (38,605 words!), and I actually had to break it down into mini-chapters. They are entitled: "The Timeless Vagabond," "Session One," "Session Two," "Session Three," "Session Four," and "The Incorruptible Dove." If I reach my 50k for NaNo, the novel will be right at 89,000 words. The Chalice is 88,650 words. That said, I'm thinking that The Vampire Relics will be one great big book with three pretty decent-sized parts. I'll leave a decision like that, though, to my editor. ;)
I know I haven't been the most communicative person of late, thanks to my involvement with The Joker Blogs. Since I'm participating in NaNoWriMo, it's not going to be much better, but I do plan on writing about my progress here. Hopefully, I can keep up with my f-list on a certain level too. I hope so. I miss everyone here.
Speaking of The Joker Blogs, I'll be busy tomorrow getting ready for a double release of Bloggy Goodness Saturday morning. At least that's the plan, not that any of us officially plan anything, in the tradition of The Joker in TDK. We all just "do things." But I will say that I'm slowly preparing for the viral onslaught come Saturday. And I'm pleased that the Halloween task instructions seem pretty clear. No one has really asked "what the hell does this mean?" So I guess I did my job there okay. I love writing out task instructions and Blog synopses, among other things, for Dude. I can't say I've enjoyed doing something this much in a very long time. I'll be sad to see it end.
As for doing things for The Joker Blogs and participating in NaNoWriMo, I don't know where my head is, but I'm going to attempt to do both. The only reason I'm doing NaNo is to finish The Blood Crown. If I don't make my 50k because I'm busy with The Joker Blogs, then so be it. I made a promise months ago and I intend to stand by that promise no matter what. Either way, I'll be winning because I'll be that much closer, if not finished with, The Blood Crown. And then I can move on to The Augury of Gideon.
Aunt Tudi and I have errands to run early tomorrow morning. I'll be purchasing more energy shots while I'm out...just in case. If they aren't needed, then at least I'll have them for NaNoWriMo and don't think I won't use them. I'm a maniac.
Frustration and General Hoo-Ha
Oct. 19th, 2009 07:47 amAnd that makes me angry at myself. Because I was fool enough to allow these people any access to my life to begin with, I'm now having to suffer their intolerability indefinitely. The situation is dire and untenable. And I have only myself to blame. I've suffered so much unwarranted abuse over the past few months and I've searched my life over the past few years to see if maybe Karma might be involved here. I have found nothing to merit such foulness. I'm still in the process of sorting out the situation. The more I'm forced to dwell on it, the more infuriated I become. If anger makes a better Sith, I'm the best Sith in the galaxy, this one or the other one that's far, far away. My rage has been sufficiently honed.
I am once again behind on my email. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day for me to do everything I need or want to do. One of my problems is focus. Fibro Fog has been a serious issue for me of late and this doesn't amuse me in the least. One thing that did seem to help that condition was my consumption of a couple of Arizona Rx Energy Fast Shots the other night. No, I didn't drink two at one sitting. I paced them out over the course of a few hours. I needed to be awake and alert that night, and I needed my faculties. I got everything I needed out of that, but I am not making a habit of drinking energy drinks. First of all, despite the herbal base of such concoctions (extreme caffeine notwithstanding), I don't think they're very good for you. They serve a purpose when one needs to remain on one's toes but, other than that, it's a poor substitute for overcoming Fibro Fog naturally. It's just something I have to deal with in my own way and without the risky effects of energy elixirs. That's not to say I won't get more Arizonas if the need arises, given similar situations like the other night. I'm just not going to Do Whacka Do on a regular basis.
Even though I have signed up to participate in NaNoWriMo, I have resigned myself to the fact that I will not win this year; however, that's not to say I won't succeed in my goal. There are two reasons I signed up for NaNo. The main reason was to challenge myself to finish The Blood Crown. Even though I doubt I'll reach my 50k goal required by NaNo to win, I'm pretty certain I'll come close to completing the second installment of The Vampire Relics. I've created a Facebook group for the Relics and will probably create an LJ comm for them as well. When I do this, I'll be deleting
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I won't win NaNo this year because The Joker Blogs is still going on and will continue past Samhain. I was under the impression the series would end at Halloween. This has been extended. I don't know when the series will end now. Who knows? The current series may end and then another may begin? That's total speculation on my part maybe just a wee tad of wishful thinking. Either way, when I committed to help Dude with my own odd brand of PR, I did so for the long haul or until he tells me to walk the plank. I can't turn away from my duties to TJB for the entire month of November. I don't feel right doing it. It's not who I am to make a commitment, then just wander off for a little while when I might be needed to do what I promised I would do. So I'll be balancing NaNo and TJB in November and that means writing 50k words in 30 days might not be the most realistic goal in the world.
Is it doable? It might be. I'm going to give it my all. I'll give my all to both projects. But some things, like email, may be neglected as a result. Best to leave me messages on my posts here or reach out to me on Facebook or Twitter. That's not to say I won't write you back if you send me an email. I'm just saying it may take a while. When you have no mind to wrap around all the things you're doing, life in general gets a little convoluted.
Speaking of email, I got an email notification of a comment posted to my You Tube channel. It says: Tinhuviel...WOW! I knew you from your Shriekback yahoogroup back about 10 years ago! Not sure if I was Lilly Tilly, Sierra Bloom or Heide (or was I meengreens) in those days, LOL
I read an awesome story of yours back then, something very Vampirish, with a man remindful of B. Great stuff... just found your name on a... what else? ... Shriekback video!
How freaky-cool is that? I remember HeideHo very well. We had some very cool astrological conversations, mainly about B's chart, which is oddly almost identical to mine, even though our birthdays are almost 11 years apart and we were born in extremely different locales. Guess that's one reason why we've always kind of grokked on both a spoken and unspoken level. I left a comment on Heide's YT channel and I've friended her. If I'm not mistaken, she's a Canadian. I love Canadians. It's good to reconnect to people with whom you've lost touch. I gathered quite a network of unique and talented souls when I went searching for fellow Shriekback fans in the hope of rallying a revival of the band. That goal was met and produced some wonderful friendships, inspired creations by fans, and surreal encounters (like my visit with B in 2006). There's nothing I love more than to be an active part of a group of souls coming together for a common purpose and, as a result, Making Things Happen. Yes, that's capitalised for a reason. It's that important. And it always thrills me when souls that may have drifted apart, find their way back to one another. Now, if only Me'Shel'le would emerge from her hidey-hole...
I'm about 1/3 of the way through another Date story, this one called "The Artist's Date," and is a sort of 'thank you basket' to
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After I finish "The Artist's Date," I'm making a bit of a departure in J-fic Land and am going to try my hand at writing Joker as a woman. Why? Well, it's another "thank you basket," this time to
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While we're talking J-fic, I want to scream from the hilltops that the third chapter of The Endgame is available for reading. I can't stress enough how you really should be reading this fiction. It only gets better with each subsequent chapter, so you're destined to be hooked and happy for it. Here's the link to the third chapter, entitled Epiphany.
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I'm surrounded by talented people for the most part. Some who think they have me surrounded also think they're talented. They should think better of it. But that's another rant for another day. For now, I'm just gonna sit here and be grateful for talented friends who allow me to tag along.
I think that certainly should be enough from me. At least for now. I'm around these parts, just lurking, watching and observing. I'd never desert you guys...unless offered plenty of money. Hee! I'm gonna try to doze a little now. Then it's back up to write some more. It's 33 degrees here right now. Unprecedented.
The Beginning of the Day
Aug. 31st, 2009 10:56 amI have to take Aunt Tudi to the doctor today and I'm taking the notebook along with me. The distraction of the Internet and the things I feel compelled to look into whilst on are not an issue when I'm away from it and can focus just on my writing. That said, I may unhook the whole megillah at night when the lack of phone won't be an issue, and write as if the Devil is chewing on my my neck. That might not be the best analogy.
There's been a great deal on my mind of late. I've had some very conflicted issues arise in my psyche and my spirit, which is usually par for the course this time of year. It leads up to my birthday which most often results in some sort of monumental suckage the likes of which the world hasn't seen seen the appearance of the salt monster on Start Trek: The Original Series. I sometimes feel like I really have no one to talk to about such matters because I'm either misunderstood, ignored, or summarily dismissed. Right now, I feel like there's no safe place for me to truly "vent my spleen" as 't'were, and I feel the pressure building within me. This has happened to me a couple of times in the past and it's resulted in a complete rearrangement of my life and some figurative bodies left in the wake of the explosion.
I'm uploading and captioning photos to Facebook because it's easy to do, and my Photobucket account is currently over limit. I'm limiting each album to 25 photos per. I think it's easier to see the pictures that way. Here's what I have so far.
Various and Sundry, pt. 1
Various and Sundry, pt. 2
Right now that's all I have on any front, other than that I'm about to compose a letter to Eliza Gilkyson, who responded to a letter I wrote her on MySpace. And then I need to get ready for the road. After I get back, I need to create another sound test for the HG World sound guy. I'm two days too late on that, thanks to my furious writing activities. I need to take the time to do that, 'cos I really want to be involved with this, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is it's just fun as can be!
Aaaieeee! Faust, forgive me!
Aug. 26th, 2009 06:29 pmCadmus turned Dunlevy’s mask around to admire it. When had he made this again? Wasn’t it in the 1970s when he decided to remake himself? Yes, yes. After Studio 54 and the Summer of Vivisection he enjoyed with that unfortunate disco Darkling, Faust.
Now I have to incorporate the making of the Mask of Dunlevy into the account of Faust. At the very end. Perhaps the mask is baptised in Faust's blood. So much horror... When I think it can't get any worse, it does.
Aaaaaand, I've connected a song to poor Faust, from the new DMB album. It's called "Lying in the Hands of God," which has so many levels of connotation, I can't even begin to comprehend them all yet but, somehow, this song fits.
Lying in the Hands of God by Dave Matthews Band
Baby I'll be your soldier. Gladly, I'll do your bidding
For just a taste of what your holding, for just a taste you could own me.
Save your sermons for someone thats afraid to love.
I'll be right here lying in the hands of God.
Here it comes, diving in into me.
Now the floor is the ceiling.
If you never flew why would you, cut the wings off a butterfly?
Fly.
Save your sermons for someone that's afraid to love.
If you knew what I feel then you couldn't be so sure.
I'll be right here lying in the hands of God.
If you feel Angels in your hand, tear drop of joy runs down your face
You will rise.
Fillin' me up, now drain me
Skin begins to grow back slowly,
faster until I'm choking.
Really should call my mother.
Mother.
Save your sermons for someone that's afraid to love.
If you knew what I feel then you couldn't be so sure.
I'll be right here lying in the hands of God.
I am in love with nothing less.
Tear drops of joy runs off my face,
I will rise for someone that's afraid to love.
If you knew what I feel, then you couldn't be so sure.
I'll be right here lying in the hands of God.
Now the floor is the ceiling.
If you never flew, why would you?
If you never flew, why would you? You.
Why would you?
I am going straight to Hell. I think I might already be there. But, if I can get this chapter written, the rest will be gravy. Tasty gravy, thanks to Barry.
I need a Faust icon, but that can't happen right now.
I'm not sure if this is a new feature or just something I overlooked the last time I participated in NaNoWriMo, but there's an option to upload cover art for your novel. So..... Any of you artistic types who might be keen on working up a mock sleeve for The Blood Crown are not only more than welcome to do so, but already have my sincere gratitude! Needless to say, should my series ever get published, the art you may contribute now, would be included in the published work. It would be in my contract, or there would be no contract. We artists, whatever our medium need to stick together. If you create a large enough tribe of creative people, something magickal might happen.
Or not.
I was defriended by someone day before yesterday. I always thought we were pretty tight, but I was apparently incorrect in my thinking. I've been doing that a lot lately, being incorrect in my thinking. This friend defriended me because he said he had IP trackers on his journal and it was obvious that I never read his journal since I never visited. I never visit anyone's journal. Everyone is right there on my friends' page. That's what it's for, or at least that's how I understood it to work. Maybe I was incorrect about that too. Anyway, there was that and the fact that I rarely commented, along with the fact that I was choking his friends page with my lengthy uncut posts. Even if I don't comment often on people's blogs, I want to make it clear here that I do read. Now, I'll be honest. Since early June, I haven't read as much as I should. Hell, I haven't written as much as I used to. I've been preoccupied with one of my 'Causes.'
If anyone has felt neglected because of my indiscretions and my apparent stupidity, all I can offer is my apologies and my promise to try to do better in the very near future. If this isn't good enough and you want to leave the Cliffs of Insanity, I fully support your decision and your reasons behind it. I won't lie and say I'll be happy about it, but I'm not happy about much right now, so this precise moment is the perfect time to help me see the error of my ways. I will bear no ill will toward you in any way. I find it ironic that me efforts to make more friends has gotten me nothing but lost friends. Whatever your decision, just do me one favour, don't give me laundry list of the things I've done wrong. I know what I've done wrong and I'm dealing with the pebble theory right now, and just can't handle anymore.
The pebble theory? It's where a person is given one pebble by one person. Then another person comes by and passes on another pebble. And so on. None of the individuals know that others have given this one person a pebble, so they don't realise that the pebble keeper very quickly has a huge burden of pebbles and no longer the strength to carry them all. So she drops them and causes this tremendous landslide, all because people didn't realise their one pebble was adding to a weight already too great for one person to bear.
Just a wise word here: the next time you want to dump on someone or just be snarky for no good reason, bear in mind that the person you're targeting may already have too many pebbles. Your addition may be the very one that tips him/her over the edge. Without your even knowing it, you could be the trigger that puts into motion a person's One Bad Day. This may not be the Sithliest thing in the world to say, but it needs saying. Be kind to one another. Keep your pebbles to yourself. If you see someone weighted down with pebbles, off to carry some. It doesn't take much time or much muscle to just be nice, and it could make a world of difference in someone's life.
And, if you really need to be mean to someone, let the professionals handle it. Just call me. I'll be happy to be horrible to whomever you wish. This Sith needs to hone her flabby skills.....and quickly.

::Does the Superior Llama Dance:: 50051 words right now. There will be more than that, of course, and considerably more after the 2nd draft when "Sui Generis" and "The Embrace of Cadmus" are incorporated into the story.
Honestly, I never thought I'd ever write a whole book. Even though I haven't accomplished it yet, I'm certain that I will, considering my dedication over the past four weeks. Yeah, I'm tooting my own horn on account of I'm proud of myself right now! It's Ego City 'round these parts! Deal.
Nearing the End
Nov. 26th, 2005 04:15 pm
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I'll probably go beyond the 50K mark, trying to bring the story to a close. Once I'm to 51K, I'll go ahead and validate with NaNoWriMo. I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm notorious for starting things and never finishing them. I'm deeply surprised I'm following through with The Chalice.
I'm gonna write some more after I get back home from taking Aunt Tudi for her sleep study. Then Llew is due over around 10PM. I might be able to validate as early as tonight.
Happy Happy
Joy Joy