The Cliffs of Insanity

I find it frustrating that, for the first time in the history of the Cliffs of Insanity, I'm having to filter certain posts. This has always been a public blog and I hope that, eventually, it will become that way again for the most part. I've had to set some entries to private because I can't not write about what's going on in my life, yet I can't let people read what I'm writing about. It's distressing because I am, for the most part, a very open person. I don't like hiding. I don't appreciate insincerity, hypocrisy, or other such unpleasantness that can often be associated with the worst examples of humanity. Since I've never been a big fan of humanity in the first place, the worst examples hold a special place of perturbation in my eyes. What's even worse is when I let such individuals into my realms and find that, like a barnacle on a whale's arse, they're nigh to impossible to rid myself of them.

And that makes me angry at myself. Because I was fool enough to allow these people any access to my life to begin with, I'm now having to suffer their intolerability indefinitely. The situation is dire and untenable. And I have only myself to blame. I've suffered so much unwarranted abuse over the past few months and I've searched my life over the past few years to see if maybe Karma might be involved here. I have found nothing to merit such foulness. I'm still in the process of sorting out the situation. The more I'm forced to dwell on it, the more infuriated I become. If anger makes a better Sith, I'm the best Sith in the galaxy, this one or the other one that's far, far away. My rage has been sufficiently honed.

I am once again behind on my email. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day for me to do everything I need or want to do. One of my problems is focus. Fibro Fog has been a serious issue for me of late and this doesn't amuse me in the least. One thing that did seem to help that condition was my consumption of a couple of Arizona Rx Energy Fast Shots the other night. No, I didn't drink two at one sitting. I paced them out over the course of a few hours. I needed to be awake and alert that night, and I needed my faculties. I got everything I needed out of that, but I am not making a habit of drinking energy drinks. First of all, despite the herbal base of such concoctions (extreme caffeine notwithstanding), I don't think they're very good for you. They serve a purpose when one needs to remain on one's toes but, other than that, it's a poor substitute for overcoming Fibro Fog naturally. It's just something I have to deal with in my own way and without the risky effects of energy elixirs. That's not to say I won't get more Arizonas if the need arises, given similar situations like the other night. I'm just not going to Do Whacka Do on a regular basis.

Even though I have signed up to participate in NaNoWriMo, I have resigned myself to the fact that I will not win this year; however, that's not to say I won't succeed in my goal. There are two reasons I signed up for NaNo. The main reason was to challenge myself to finish The Blood Crown. Even though I doubt I'll reach my 50k goal required by NaNo to win, I'm pretty certain I'll come close to completing the second installment of The Vampire Relics. I've created a Facebook group for the Relics and will probably create an LJ comm for them as well. When I do this, I'll be deleting chalice_novel. gunslingaaahhh is going to be editing The Chalice, which will go up in installments in the new Vampire Relics community. She's currently editing "The Sainted Confessor," which is a huge chunk of The Blood Crown. That'll be the first thing to go up in the FB group, but it won't appear in the community over here until The Blood Crown is complete.

I won't win NaNo this year because The Joker Blogs is still going on and will continue past Samhain. I was under the impression the series would end at Halloween. This has been extended. I don't know when the series will end now. Who knows? The current series may end and then another may begin? That's total speculation on my part maybe just a wee tad of wishful thinking. Either way, when I committed to help Dude with my own odd brand of PR, I did so for the long haul or until he tells me to walk the plank. I can't turn away from my duties to TJB for the entire month of November. I don't feel right doing it. It's not who I am to make a commitment, then just wander off for a little while when I might be needed to do what I promised I would do. So I'll be balancing NaNo and TJB in November and that means writing 50k words in 30 days might not be the most realistic goal in the world.

Is it doable? It might be. I'm going to give it my all. I'll give my all to both projects. But some things, like email, may be neglected as a result. Best to leave me messages on my posts here or reach out to me on Facebook or Twitter. That's not to say I won't write you back if you send me an email. I'm just saying it may take a while. When you have no mind to wrap around all the things you're doing, life in general gets a little convoluted.

Speaking of email, I got an email notification of a comment posted to my You Tube channel. It says: Tinhuviel...WOW! I knew you from your Shriekback yahoogroup back about 10 years ago! Not sure if I was Lilly Tilly, Sierra Bloom or Heide (or was I meengreens) in those days, LOL

I read an awesome story of yours back then, something very Vampirish, with a man remindful of B. Great stuff... just found your name on a... what else? ... Shriekback video!

How freaky-cool is that? I remember HeideHo very well. We had some very cool astrological conversations, mainly about B's chart, which is oddly almost identical to mine, even though our birthdays are almost 11 years apart and we were born in extremely different locales. Guess that's one reason why we've always kind of grokked on both a spoken and unspoken level. I left a comment on Heide's YT channel and I've friended her. If I'm not mistaken, she's a Canadian. I love Canadians. It's good to reconnect to people with whom you've lost touch. I gathered quite a network of unique and talented souls when I went searching for fellow Shriekback fans in the hope of rallying a revival of the band. That goal was met and produced some wonderful friendships, inspired creations by fans, and surreal encounters (like my visit with B in 2006). There's nothing I love more than to be an active part of a group of souls coming together for a common purpose and, as a result, Making Things Happen. Yes, that's capitalised for a reason. It's that important. And it always thrills me when souls that may have drifted apart, find their way back to one another. Now, if only Me'Shel'le would emerge from her hidey-hole...

I'm about 1/3 of the way through another Date story, this one called "The Artist's Date," and is a sort of 'thank you basket' to luvthyjoker for the lovely art she's so far contributed to The Vampire Relics. It's your typical Joker Date Night tale with the 3 rules to be followed strictly: 1) A Heath Ledger Reference, 2) An original scar story, and 3) the Date dies. There were a few special requests for this particular date since it is, after all, luvthyjoker's date. She's a horror nut and is truly looking forward to being murdered by J. This is not to say I want her dead in any way, shape, or form, but her wish is my command and J's absolute pleasure. Not sure where this will fit in the chronology, but Sidney's alive, so it's definitely after "The Nun's Date," where he was introduced. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that Sidney is based entirely upon Sidney Poitier, who starred in Lilies of the Field. That was my paternal grandmother, Granny's all-time favourite film and, since it has to do with nun's it just made sense to me to connect this movie with "The Nun's Date" and introduce a little grounding energy to Joker's madcap existence. And I'm probably going to hell for making such a connection. Yet another reason I should be preparing my handbasket now. I'm truly racking up the Hell points these days...trust me.

After I finish "The Artist's Date," I'm making a bit of a departure in J-fic Land and am going to try my hand at writing Joker as a woman. Why? Well, it's another "thank you basket," this time to acook, who did a fantastic reading of a portion of "The Sainted Confessor." Over time, she's been creating a costume tailored just for her and her version of Joker. No, she's not dressing as Joker or as a girl trying to be Joker. No no no, it's not that simple. No. acook has defined herself as Joker, had Joker been female all along. acook is Femme Joker. That said, I'm going to attempt a fic based on that concept. I have no idea what it's going to be like and it will mean introducing yet another J into my already crowded head, but I think it'll be worth it. To give an idea of what Femme Joker is all about, I present this snappy little video. Prepare to get your Romany on.


While we're talking J-fic, I want to scream from the hilltops that the third chapter of The Endgame is available for reading. I can't stress enough how you really should be reading this fiction. It only gets better with each subsequent chapter, so you're destined to be hooked and happy for it. Here's the link to the third chapter, entitled Epiphany. paisleydaze is truly a rare talent in writing and her ability to bring life to her characters, even those who aren't originally hers, is uncanny. When I read her Joker, I can hear him in my head. I love it when that happens and, therefore, I love Soph's story. You should read it, I'm telling you. It's not just good Joker fanfiction, it's good fiction period. And I need to finish my picture of Claire that I began ages ago. Like I said...not enough hours in the day for everything I want and need to do. But it'll happen, every...last...bit... Or heads will roll. And that'll be fun too.

I'm surrounded by talented people for the most part. Some who think they have me surrounded also think they're talented. They should think better of it. But that's another rant for another day. For now, I'm just gonna sit here and be grateful for talented friends who allow me to tag along.

I think that certainly should be enough from me. At least for now. I'm around these parts, just lurking, watching and observing. I'd never desert you guys...unless offered plenty of money. Hee! I'm gonna try to doze a little now. Then it's back up to write some more. It's 33 degrees here right now. Unprecedented.

I couldn't resist incorporating a little bit of parallel irony into the narrative. Shoot me, sue me, or any other 's' you can think of. It was fun and therapeutic.

( Cadmus has a MySpace. Heh. )

Here I am at the 'libarry,' as the local yokels dare to call it. We're only allowed an hour at a time on the computer, so I zipped through my hour trying to catch up on email, then left to get cat food. After getting cat food, I apparently allowed my wallet to fall out of my purse at Bi-Lo. Only when I went to get out my library card to log on for another hour on the computer did I realise my card and the wallet in which it resides were both gone. So I hauled ass back to Bi-Lo where the folks at the front counter had my goods. Well...most of them. The $80 I had was gone, but everything else as intact. Cursing like a sailor under my breath, I thanked the Bi-Lo people and drove back to the library. And here I am ~ broke, surly, and going through Internet withdrawals bad. I hate being timed on my computer use and I despise the fact that I was stupid enough to lose my wallet. Gyah! And it hasn't even been a week that my computer has been gone. I'll be dead by the time the two to three weeks the Geek Squad may need to take to heal my computer has passed by. Dead, I tell you, dead!

I've been writing the old-fashioned way: with a pen applied to paper. My handwriting is atrocious. I figured I'd better transcribe what I have so far before I lose the ability to read what I've written. Right now, concentration on the scribblings and memory will get me through but, the longer I wait, the less of a chance I'll have to transcribing the mess. This bit was inspired by my recent reconnection with the Craft combined with the Tarmian Ways and rituals. Actually, I want to include a good amount of Tarmian tradition and way of life in this sequel. The Chalice wouldn't exist had it not been for the firm platform of dozens of notebooks of Deaghydhe/Tarmian language, ritual practice, myths and legends, and character developments on which it rests. I want Kelat's pre-Vampire days to be more prevalent in The Blood Crown. Her memories, particularly the ones she passes on to Cadmus that will help him retrieve the Blood Crown, will bring to life the ancient alien Elfin creatures who inherited the Earth millions of years before Humanity stirred in the dreams of the Earth Mother. Kelat is, after all, the Mother of Memory. I should focus more readily on that and let her live up to her Tarmian title.

Okay, so here it is.

( Kelat'menan ~ the Mother of Memory )

That's what I have so far. And I have three minutes left online. Crapola. Maybe I can get back on Saturday.

Hope all is well with you people, those I call My Friends. ::blows a Sithly kiss::

Oh, and HAPPY ALBAN EILER!!