The Cliffs of Insanity

Diane aka   readinfool is back online and invited me to use her 'puter during my unfortunate Internet Exile. I am a happy camper. I don't have to wait on some idiot teenager to trawl through MySpace for an hour before I'm allowed my hour on the computer. Baaarrrrrgggh!!! I went to the doctor today. I needed to get x-rays for my impending visit with Dr. Keith. When Dr. Yost eyeballed the x-rays, he was unimpressed with what he saw. He told me that it wasn't right to have geriatric knees, or a geriatric knee as is the case with my left knee, at my age. He doesn't care that I am supposed to wait until I'm 50. What's the point in hobbling about now when I could live a normal life and hobble about later one when I'm supposed to be hobbling? His logic was impeccable. That's because Dr. Yost is a genius. I have known this for many moons.

While I'm here, I'm gonna try to figure out how to change Diane's ringtone on her new phone. It's a Samsung, like mine, and I hate it with a passion. Not hers, mine. I keep trying to assign ringtones to certain people, and the only one I've successfully assigned so far is My Friend Todd's, who is graced with "Take Off" by the MacKenzie Brothers and Geddy Lee. Everyone else is currently enjoying Mister T saying "Answer the phone and don't be talkin' too long. Ain't no time for the jibber jabber," which is fine because I adore Mister T, but it'd be nice to know who's calling without having to look at the phone every single freakin' time.

I found out that I'm one of the friendlier canteen attendants. According to Dick, one othe repairmen, he was asked for change, which he couldn't provide. He told the dude that he'd have to ask the attendant to which the dude replied, "I don't want to ask him. He's mean and won't do anything I ask." Another attendant was so hostile to his flock, he ended up having a knife applied to his throat. No cutting was involved, but the very act screamed "our working relationship with the Cromer person isn't the best in the world." So far, everyone seems to be rather fond of me and were deeply concerned when I was out with the Slobovian Death Plague. It's been confirmed that my week without pay has been scheduled for the week of 7 April, which is the week that Aunt Tudi has her hand surgery. I expect that I will be sincerely missed, or at least I hope so. I don't think any sharp objects will be applied to my goozle upon my return the following week. So I must be doing something right. Who knows? They might even throw me a big honkin' "Welcome Back Kotter" party and buy me a dollar BBQ sammich.

Whilst I was away working, going to the doctor to find out my knee has gotta go, and visiting Diane, Llew installed our new smoke detectors, mowed all the grass, and basically did manly household things. Aunt Tudi was duly impressed and so, by god, was I. He told me that, once he was finished, he hopped in the shower and used my Tramp shower gel. He used it on every inch of his skin and also shampooed with it. Apparently, it was one of the longest showers he taken in a while, which is far from surprising, because Tramp is quite possibly the most heavenly bath infusion ever to have been concocted by a Human Being. I've shared a fair amount of it with Diane and, if <lj user="clumsycake"> would like a dollop, I'll be more than happy to bestow upon her this magickal gel for lo! it is a gift of the Mighty Goddess, She who graces all things having to do with cleanliness and joy.

It just occurred to me that I'm a tad peckish. Aunt Tudi and Llew probably are as well. Perhaps I should ply them with Mexican food and we can all retire to our beds with unseemly flatulence and other such gastric issues beyond our control. But it is worth it because our local restaurant, El Agave, is a smidgen of delight here in Duncan and should be lauded with as much praise as is humanly possible. I say this because it is true. True and filled with much....truth.

I miss you people. I'm not even trying to read my f-list because if I start, I'll realise how far behind I already am, and I shall be saddened and stressed. Once I have my computer back, I want you LJ people to link me to important posts you've made or read, so I can be as enlightened as you. Because I miss you and I want  to involved with all the hooha that's going on with you.  I got a surprise call from <lj user="brujah"> the other day, which was was an absolute joy in every way.  The only call I'd ever gotten from <lj user="brujah"> was one of her singing  all jacked up on helium, so it was a joy to hear my Sithster speaking with a voice that wasn't high and squeaky.  And everything she she had to say was lovely and filled with genuine "Essence of Friendship."  I don't usually like to talk on the phone but, this time, I didn't mind at all.  It was a true pleasure. 

So I guess this is me saying that I miss you crazy bunch hooligans.  Please don't go anywhere until I can get my computer back.  This is something you don't normally, if ever, see:  a Sith imploring you, some of you even Jedi.  Please don't go anywhere.  Don't defriend me, kick me to the curb, forget you know me, or have me killed by a ruffian by the name of Knuckles O'Flannign.  I beg for your patience Oh and, as for the knee-knob x-rays, I'm taking pictures of them before I have to turn them over to Dr. Keith.  Then everyone can be as squicked as I am by apparent lack of cartilege that makes my unlife filled with complete and utter horror.  Not even Pinhead could think up this kind of sublime suffering.

On that note, I'll conclude this wee speck of insanity on a high note.  EEEEEEEEE!~~~~~~~!!!.  The end, dammit!