Hm...the doctor visit
Jul. 7th, 2008 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinhuvielartanisI called Dr. Yost first thing this morning and got an appointment for 2:15, his latest appointment since he was the early doctor off today. I worked through lunch and left at 1:30 to pick up Aunt Tudi, who had to go with me to tell Doc what I did Thursday night, since I don't remember a thing about it.
We got down to the doctor's office at 2 PM sharp. Even though I signed in 15 minutes before my appointment time and I was Dr. Yost's last patient for the day, I wasn't called to the back until going on 3:30. Aunt Tudi and I schlorbled to the back where we got to wait another quarter hour before Dr. Yost came in, at which time Aunt Tudi told him the entire nauseating tale of my tongue-gnawin', rip-roarin' good time this past Thursday. He listened with some alarm, checked my eyes, my reflexes, and my overall superficial health. And then he told me what I'd been dreading to hear: that I have to go to a neurologist for a battery of tests to find out if my noodle is okay and if I'm in danger of having any more of these festive little seizures.
Aunt Tudi is hellbent on my going through with this. Me? Not so much. Why? Because I don't have health insurance and this doctor wants quite a chunk of change in advance before he'll even start to talk about a payment plan. Dr. Yost is fairly certain that Dr. Felch will want to do an MRI, which is $1500 at least. Just thinking about owing that much more money on top of what I already owe to god and everybody makes me want to have another seizure. If I go through with the visit, there's the chance that the doc will find something and then tell me that I can't drive anymore. There's no such thing as public transportation in my neck of the woods, so how would I then pay Dr. Felch if I'm no longer able to drive to work? How would I get Aunt Tudi to her doctors? How would we live? So I'm thinking about calling and cancelling the appointment the nurse scheduled for me for 16 July, even though it would mean Aunt Tudi chewing me a new asshole.
If I do have another seizure, maybe I'll be lucky and not wake up from it. Yeah, I know, it's not the typical Tin thing to write, but there's only so much a person can take and I've reached my limit. I'm in constant, horrific pain that no doctor wants to acknowledge when it comes to providing cheap pain relief. All they want to talk about is expensive knee replacements or injections I can no longer afford, or expensive physical therapy that not only doesn't work, but actually makes the problem worse. They're more worried about my becoming an addict than they are about helping me pay for the replacement I need. It doesn't help that my shoulders have begun to ache on a perpetual basis. I can't go back to the orthopaedic doctor because I owe him money he wants before he'll see me again and my family doctor doesn't want to treat me for any of this, telling me I need to go see the orthopaedic doctor. Now I'm supposed to see a neurologist?
I think I'd rather see a mortician, thanks. I've had it. I'm tired. I'm in pain. I'm demoralised, hopeless, helpless, and out of options. Aunt Tudi would be better off without me. No one else would even miss me if I were to drop off the Earth. I've had it.
I guess I should feel better after having gotten that off my chest.
I don't. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever feel better again. This year has been nothing but one disaster after another. Check please!
We got down to the doctor's office at 2 PM sharp. Even though I signed in 15 minutes before my appointment time and I was Dr. Yost's last patient for the day, I wasn't called to the back until going on 3:30. Aunt Tudi and I schlorbled to the back where we got to wait another quarter hour before Dr. Yost came in, at which time Aunt Tudi told him the entire nauseating tale of my tongue-gnawin', rip-roarin' good time this past Thursday. He listened with some alarm, checked my eyes, my reflexes, and my overall superficial health. And then he told me what I'd been dreading to hear: that I have to go to a neurologist for a battery of tests to find out if my noodle is okay and if I'm in danger of having any more of these festive little seizures.
Aunt Tudi is hellbent on my going through with this. Me? Not so much. Why? Because I don't have health insurance and this doctor wants quite a chunk of change in advance before he'll even start to talk about a payment plan. Dr. Yost is fairly certain that Dr. Felch will want to do an MRI, which is $1500 at least. Just thinking about owing that much more money on top of what I already owe to god and everybody makes me want to have another seizure. If I go through with the visit, there's the chance that the doc will find something and then tell me that I can't drive anymore. There's no such thing as public transportation in my neck of the woods, so how would I then pay Dr. Felch if I'm no longer able to drive to work? How would I get Aunt Tudi to her doctors? How would we live? So I'm thinking about calling and cancelling the appointment the nurse scheduled for me for 16 July, even though it would mean Aunt Tudi chewing me a new asshole.
If I do have another seizure, maybe I'll be lucky and not wake up from it. Yeah, I know, it's not the typical Tin thing to write, but there's only so much a person can take and I've reached my limit. I'm in constant, horrific pain that no doctor wants to acknowledge when it comes to providing cheap pain relief. All they want to talk about is expensive knee replacements or injections I can no longer afford, or expensive physical therapy that not only doesn't work, but actually makes the problem worse. They're more worried about my becoming an addict than they are about helping me pay for the replacement I need. It doesn't help that my shoulders have begun to ache on a perpetual basis. I can't go back to the orthopaedic doctor because I owe him money he wants before he'll see me again and my family doctor doesn't want to treat me for any of this, telling me I need to go see the orthopaedic doctor. Now I'm supposed to see a neurologist?
I think I'd rather see a mortician, thanks. I've had it. I'm tired. I'm in pain. I'm demoralised, hopeless, helpless, and out of options. Aunt Tudi would be better off without me. No one else would even miss me if I were to drop off the Earth. I've had it.
I guess I should feel better after having gotten that off my chest.
I don't. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever feel better again. This year has been nothing but one disaster after another. Check please!
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Date: 2008-07-08 02:06 pm (UTC)One thing I do have is um, well, I've been lovingly calling it The Ass Gel. It's to be used in case I have a seizure that lasts over 5 minutes, or if I have early warning seizure signs. Now that I've reached the 6 month mark, chances are pretty low that I'll have another one. I'd like to hang on to both until after the Small One gets here (since I'm having him/her at home, I'll need it just in case, since I won't be plugged in to an IV for easy drug access.), but after that, I'd be happy to send you one of my two kits. I can always get more by going back to a neurologist if I really need to.
*hugs* I'm sorry this happened to you. Seizures suck ass.