Hm...the doctor visit

[tinhuvielartanis]

I called Dr. Yost first thing this morning and got an appointment for 2:15, his latest appointment since he was the early doctor off today. I worked through lunch and left at 1:30 to pick up Aunt Tudi, who had to go with me to tell Doc what I did Thursday night, since I don't remember a thing about it.

We got down to the doctor's office at 2 PM sharp. Even though I signed in 15 minutes before my appointment time and I was Dr. Yost's last patient for the day, I wasn't called to the back until going on 3:30. Aunt Tudi and I schlorbled to the back where we got to wait another quarter hour before Dr. Yost came in, at which time Aunt Tudi told him the entire nauseating tale of my tongue-gnawin', rip-roarin' good time this past Thursday. He listened with some alarm, checked my eyes, my reflexes, and my overall superficial health. And then he told me what I'd been dreading to hear: that I have to go to a neurologist for a battery of tests to find out if my noodle is okay and if I'm in danger of having any more of these festive little seizures.

Aunt Tudi is hellbent on my going through with this. Me? Not so much. Why? Because I don't have health insurance and this doctor wants quite a chunk of change in advance before he'll even start to talk about a payment plan. Dr. Yost is fairly certain that Dr. Felch will want to do an MRI, which is $1500 at least. Just thinking about owing that much more money on top of what I already owe to god and everybody makes me want to have another seizure. If I go through with the visit, there's the chance that the doc will find something and then tell me that I can't drive anymore. There's no such thing as public transportation in my neck of the woods, so how would I then pay Dr. Felch if I'm no longer able to drive to work? How would I get Aunt Tudi to her doctors? How would we live? So I'm thinking about calling and cancelling the appointment the nurse scheduled for me for 16 July, even though it would mean Aunt Tudi chewing me a new asshole.


If I do have another seizure, maybe I'll be lucky and not wake up from it. Yeah, I know, it's not the typical Tin thing to write, but there's only so much a person can take and I've reached my limit. I'm in constant, horrific pain that no doctor wants to acknowledge when it comes to providing cheap pain relief. All they want to talk about is expensive knee replacements or injections I can no longer afford, or expensive physical therapy that not only doesn't work, but actually makes the problem worse. They're more worried about my becoming an addict than they are about helping me pay for the replacement I need. It doesn't help that my shoulders have begun to ache on a perpetual basis. I can't go back to the orthopaedic doctor because I owe him money he wants before he'll see me again and my family doctor doesn't want to treat me for any of this, telling me I need to go see the orthopaedic doctor. Now I'm supposed to see a neurologist?

I think I'd rather see a mortician, thanks. I've had it. I'm tired. I'm in pain. I'm demoralised, hopeless, helpless, and out of options. Aunt Tudi would be better off without me. No one else would even miss me if I were to drop off the Earth. I've had it.

I guess I should feel better after having gotten that off my chest.

I don't. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever feel better again. This year has been nothing but one disaster after another. Check please!

Comments

[bloominglotus.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say, except to send you love.

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

T, I love you and would miss you horribly.

It would matter if you fell off the face of the earth.

I wish there was more that could be done to help other than just agh and reiki and stuff.

[stacye13.livejournal.com]

Is the Wally World job with insurance still a possibility? If so, I'd wait it out until then. I'm sure Wally can afford an MRI for you - they have plenty of money.

[tantra-cat.livejournal.com]

Oh Tin....this health care system is such bullshit. Nobody can afford these types of expenses. And you should not have to choose between borderline bankruptcy and total bankruptcy to feel good.

[lebonheurbum.livejournal.com]

No one else would even miss me if I were to drop off the Earth. I've had it.

Stop it. That's not true, and you know it.

Go to the doctor. Here's my POV: you go, it turns out that maybe it was something isolated, yeah, you owe money, but at least you KNOW, right? If it IS something that totally sucks and you can't drive, apply for disability. It exists, so use it.

You can figure something out. The important thing is that you get help to make sure this doesn't happen again, or that if it does, you can get it taken care of.

Aunt Tudi loves you, as evidenced by the fact that you're living in the same house. Seriously, bitch could knock you upside the head with her cane if she wanted. ;-)

[flameprincess.livejournal.com]

this

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

Echoes.

[irenes.livejournal.com]

me too

[felisdemens.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[morriganwind.livejournal.com]

I would miss you more than words can say.

Can the Walmart job offer you some insurance relief?

Truly, I would cry if you weren't in this world anymore, and I know Aunt Tudi would be worse off without you.

[flameprincess.livejournal.com]

See what programs you can apply for that will help out with the costs. I'm sure a doctor or two would be more then happy to come forward with your physical difficulties and the fact that you are the breadwinner in the household could also carry some weight.

I find comfort in having you around as limited as our contact may be. As always if there is anything I can do I will. Research on programs for your state, running a donation campaign for the health and wellbeing of our beloved Sith... just name it and I'll try to find a way to make it happen.

[delenn99.livejournal.com]

I wish there was something more I could do except let you know I care about you am sending you lots of love and good wishes along with everyone else.

[zitronenhai.livejournal.com]

Are there any options for some kind of public assistance, for you and Tudi separately, or as a family? I don't think Tudi would be better off without you, and you would certainly be missed far and wide. I don't know what else to say right now except you are loved.

I so know what you mean...

[hipstamom.livejournal.com]

that's a killer right there. Plus, you probably make too much money for medicaid.

:headdesk:


First of all, seizure can be brought on my stress. S

Second, your state doesn't require doctors to report your dx. In NJ, doctors are required, so they yanked my license.

Check Driver Info by State.
This is what I pulled up for your state:
Seizure-Free Period 6 months
Periodic Medical Updates Required After Licensing At 6 months, then annually for 3 years
Doctors Required to Report Epilepsy No
DMV Appeal of License Denial Within 10 days

Seizures doesn't necessarily mean you have epilepsy.

I would miss you tons! You've held my hand through all my whining; bitchin; moaning; etc...

[brujah.livejournal.com]

The first thing they're going to do is check your vitamin levels (especially the b complex vitamins, b6 deficiencies often cause seizures), given my experience with Morgan. (She's had seizures since she was 18 months old.) After thinking that, my immediate thought was to ask you if you've been keeping up with your vitamins since surgery, especially in the last year.

Because if you haven't that is something you should seriously rectify. You haven't been as concerned with your health as you've been concerned with the health of everyone else around you. The worry and stress will wear you down, emotionally, and if you've already got a physical thing going on, then you can expect your body to give you a wake up call.

I love you, dearly, Tin. I would miss you, terribly, were something to happen to you, so please take care of you.

I won't say 'go to the doctor' or 'don't bother going to the doctor' because you are the only one who can decide if it's something you need to do. I also know you're just stubborn enough to do exactly as you want, anyway.

I have no health coverage on me or my daughter, so like a lot of people in the United States, we're one medical need away from financial disaster. It's a terrifying thought and I empathize.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I care and whatever decision you make regarding your health, you have my support.

<3

[green-goblin7t.livejournal.com]

I'd miss you bud.

[pallidbat.livejournal.com]

Hrm, I can see why you'd want to avoid the neurologist at all costs if you're without insurance. They're pricey, especially given how many tests they run. I did 3-4 tests in the ER that I never EVER want to know the actual price on.

One thing I do have is um, well, I've been lovingly calling it The Ass Gel. It's to be used in case I have a seizure that lasts over 5 minutes, or if I have early warning seizure signs. Now that I've reached the 6 month mark, chances are pretty low that I'll have another one. I'd like to hang on to both until after the Small One gets here (since I'm having him/her at home, I'll need it just in case, since I won't be plugged in to an IV for easy drug access.), but after that, I'd be happy to send you one of my two kits. I can always get more by going back to a neurologist if I really need to.

*hugs* I'm sorry this happened to you. Seizures suck ass.

[razzle.livejournal.com]

First off, you can't kick the can yet. We haven't had terrifyingly caffeinated coffee together, and that's one of my primary life goals.

Second, you're not alone with the seizure thing: http://www.meltingmama.net/

There definitely seems to be connection between vitamin B deficit in bariatric post-ops and neurological issues.

What's the word on WaldeMart? Working for the ebil empire might have benefits - besides the obvious Sithly destruction of the human psyche.

[bigblackmimesis.livejournal.com]

Please don't stop living; the world is a more interesting place with you in it. Seriously, I hope you can get something to make it tolerable.

[mobobocita.livejournal.com]

Move to Canada and see a Dr?

Make some cotton candy?

Wish I had more hun.

[duck-puddle.livejournal.com]

Not until you send me directions to that dairy farm!!!!

Joe and I were uninsured for YEARS and years, so I know how it feels to have to choose between health or money. :o(

[rheyamorgaine.livejournal.com]

Tin, let's not worry too much yet ok? Go see the neurologist. Maybe you can get out of the MRI. Tell him you have an acute case of claustrophobia (I know there are open MRIs but I'm banking on the nearest one being a ways from you)

[falkenna.livejournal.com]

You know how we feel. I know it can be easy to tell yourself you don't, but be honest, you really do know. **Remember it.**

And the last thing I would want to do would be to encourage you to a course that resulted in harm. But, as usual, I've got a slightly different slant (for which janalyson will probably tell me off).

After 20 years with Britain's National Health Service, I have begun to think that the US medical service is often way too cautious. They get paid for procedures, and they don't want to be sued for missing something, so any little ache or pain results in a battery of tests.

That's not to say this was little; quite the opposite, it was extreme and frightening (to us, anyway!). It's also over.

But one way of managing this is to play the averages. I believe one of the websites someone directed you to, suggested that fainting is most often a non-threatening result of, for example, stress, and that a fainting spell can include a seizure. Read some more sites and make sure that's the case.

You've certainly been under stress. The comments here about B vitamins are extremely interesting. Take some. Rest. Relax. Meditate. Treat yourself to something.

Do this regardless, and make your own decision about the doctor. If the fear of what might be wrong causes you a lot of stress -- that's perfectly natural, and probably means you should go. Otherwise, go inside yourself, weigh the risk against the huge sum of money, and listen to your true voice telling you what to do.

[gatheringrivers]

Ok, first? I'll echo the comments about the B-vitamins. They are rapidly used in times of stress. And if you're on chronic painkillers? You may have ulcers, which will impact their ABSORPTION in the stomach/intestines, which STARTS a deficiency situation in the first place. My gf's had to deal with that, it took seeing ovalocytes on the labwork to point to a b-12 deficiency, and a potent capsule b-complex fixed up that set of problems in about 2 weeks.

Second, This will probably help your pain - I've been testing the theory with my own pain - type undiagnosed, but pain pattern matches nerve pinch in my Mosby's Physiology medical book - and can safely say there is validity in the concept. More vitamin C regularly does reduce the pain, which reduces a lot of other problems.

I see the problems you have, the problems my gf has, and problems other people have... it just reinforces my desire to avoid doctors and their pain-stupidity. So far I'm succeeding. :)

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the link, hon. You always have the coolest advice and info.