Great Big Ole Freaky-Ass Bug

[tinhuvielartanis]

It's sitting out there on our front porch.

Just....sitting.... And staring at the door.... waiting for either Aunt Tudi or me to come back out so it can...EAT..US..







I think it's a stink bug 'cos I distinctly remember accidentally stepping on something very much like this the first year we lived in SC and the stank enveloped me for a good month. It was worse than anything I've ever experienced and I've experienced a lot. I've had the funky Influenza smell, I've lived in a house sprayed by a skunk (it was so intense, I now have skunk immunity), I was peed on by an intact male cat (and am now immune to cat musk as a result). All of that put together doesn't add up to stink bug stank.

I'm not going back outside. You can't make me. I'd rather burn in a raging house fire than go back outside and face this monstrous creation. It will either eat me or stank me to death. If I had to choose between being eaten or stanked to death, I'd choose slow bug ingestion.

Comments

[brujah.livejournal.com]

My Granny called those blister bugs, because they stank so bad when you killed them it could blister your nose.

As an aisde, your camera is marvelous.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I'm convinced that my camera will document my death at the hands of something like this bug.

[quoth-the-maven.livejournal.com]

That. Is. So. Fucking. Scary.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

And it smells worse than it looks.

[quoth-the-maven.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. But I've never seen one that big before. Jeeeezus.

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

JEEBUS FREAKIN CHRIST ON A SKATEBOARD. that's freakin' HYOOGE!!

and yes, a quick Google image search confirms that what you got there is in fact a stink bug. EEEEEEGH.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I'm sending it to you. You need a bug like this.

[m0usegrrl.livejournal.com]

AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. NO I DON'T THINK SO THANK YOU ALL THE SAME. one of Autumn's cats would eat it and we'd all be doomed then. DOOMED I TELL YOU.

two words... cat farts.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

::gag:: Those are bad enough without stink bug intervention.

[teague.livejournal.com]

Ironic to this thread, a smaller cousin of this monster is *exactly* what my kitty, Vash, knocked off my leg and without hesitation ate. So far no atomic poofers though. Maybe the smaller bug was too small.

[teague.livejournal.com]

The last picture in the series is freaking *awsome*. You should get that one printed and put it in a frame!




Then wave it at small children on Halloween

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I'd rather just hit them over the head with the frame and make them run away screaming. :)

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

BAH!!!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Humbug!

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

Oooh. Now if it HUMMED, you'd HAVE something!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

It's big enough to hum.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

So I noticed.

[estasia.livejournal.com]

it was worth braving the hideous bug to see this icon. i loves it.

[sapphirescarlet.livejournal.com]

LOL You may have it if you like. It's from a stolen collection.

[bloominglotus.livejournal.com]

EWWW!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Me no likey the ugly buggy thingy.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

It looks like one of the Archons, I swear to the Mighties. I'm still not going outside.

[falkenna.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, now I understand why it has freaked you out so much -- and I have to agree! Scarrrey stuff, boys and girls.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate it when one of those mo-fos comes crawling up my porch. Yuck.

And, your camera is amazing.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Thanks. If it didn't have a zoom, I would never have gotten a picture. I didn't want too close just in case it "stanked" me.

[silent-ic-river.livejournal.com]

Um, that was me. LJ has taken to signing me out without my permission these last few days. Maybe I got some stink-bug on me.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I figured it was someone I knew. :)

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

Call in the Army.

Looks like we got one of those 1950 B-movie giant bugs!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Pfffff....the Army created those things, didn't you know?

::cue X-Files music::

[moad-terran-hq.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure Godzilla took on one of those in a movie once....

That last photo looks like he's just daring you to come out and rumble....

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

He's actually saying "No questions! No comments! I'll stank you damn Paparrazzi!"

[ex-glittert.livejournal.com]

Southerners know the true horror of the Freaky-Ass Stank B-Movie Bug!!!

EEEEEEEEEEeeeeee!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Werd up, sista-friend. And I've heard that you Floridians have to use shovels for fly-swats (or fly-flaps as they're called 'round here in these parts).

[ex-glittert.livejournal.com]

Yeah man. These things mainline Raid so there's nothing else for it but to beat the crap out of 'em.

*nods*

[purple-leatherc.livejournal.com]

I'm not a stink bug, and I want to eat you.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Yer a naughty naughty boy.

[purple-leatherc.livejournal.com]

Does that mean I'll get a spanking while you yell "Yee-haw"?

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Affirmative.