tinhuvielartanis: (Clockwork Orange Happy Face)
Bestowed upon me by the effervescent [livejournal.com profile] falkenna!

I had a flat tire on the interstate, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!
Theyre in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men
, which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.

He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What's going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him,
“Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers.”
tinhuvielartanis: (Joker_Blogs_Dude)
The Mother Unit sent this to me.

Four Worms and a lesson to be learned

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would
add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation -
What did you learn from this demonstration?


A woman who was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate,
you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service
tinhuvielartanis: (Dodo)
Q: What cheese is it that belongs to me?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: What fish is it that cats can ask for by name?
A(in nasally cat voice): Mackerel!

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The Cliffs of Insanity

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