Paper Clips

[tinhuvielartanis]

Well, Weight Watchers is going to be an utterly humiliating experience, I can already see that. The 'leader' hands out coloured paper clips for every pound you lose. It's incentive enough to lose the horrid amount of weight I need to shed just to get enough paper clips to make a chain and use it to climb out the window and escape the condescending methods these people use to 'motivate' the fatties.

My membership pamphlet is for a 26 week period. How very convenient is that? Since all the 'leader' does is advertise other Weight Watchers products during the meeting and the insurance company stresses the Weight Watchers program in order to qualify for wls approval, I'm starting to get the distinct idea that these bedfellows are whoring each other out for mutual profit.

All I know is that it's going to be a long 6 months (+2 weeks) and, if Cigna or whatever insurance company I end up with won't cover the surgery after this latest blow to my dignity, then I'm gonna lose it. Not the weight ~ my mind. I'll crawl up in a tower with an AK47, do the deed, then hang myself with my paper clip chain. Maybe Alanis Morrissette can add a new verse to "Ironic" telling my sad story.

A desperate girl
With some kilos to lose
Climbed the local tower
In her new walking shoes
She blew folks away
In the hard driving rain
Then she hanged her fat self
With her Weight Watchers chain
And isn't it ironic
Don'tcha think?
A little toooo ironic
Yeah, I really do think.

That was pretty damned pathetic. Guess that's why I'm an office grunt instead of a songwriter.

Comments

[lausa.livejournal.com]

Your post left me howling! Been there, done that with Weight Watchers and it sounds like it's gotten much worse than it when I did it years ago. Even then, it drove me to needlepoint in effort to zen out during those meetings. Papers clips!!!! Wish my students could be so easily motivated.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

:-D Glad you enjoyed. All I really need is documentation of showing up every week and my food journal, in addition to a monthly weigh in with the doc, so I may ditch the meetings after a month and tell them where they can insert their paper clips.
heh

wait !!!

[nardiaone.livejournal.com]

Are you thinking about getting the lap-band surgury? I was too until I discovered Atkins ! I weighed 360 lbs in December 2002 now I weigh 290 !
Please consider doing low carb before the surgury...it is killing my mom and has already killed some friends of mine.