tinhuvielartanis | The End of the World

So here's wisdom from the first 8 days of the Doomsday 2012 calendar. I'll be posting more ASAP!

What's the deal with 2012?
The doomsday 2012 phenomenon comprises a range of beliefs that some type of cataclysmic or transformative event will occur on December 21, 2012. According to certain interpretations of the Mayan Long Count calendar – an ancient non-repeating calendar that counts the number of days since “creation”- the end of the world falls on this day, which will totally destroy the novelty of writing 12/21/12 on checks. This idea also anchors various other theories and serves as the basis for John Cusack's transition to action hero in Roland Emmerich's 2012, perhaps the worst catastrophe of all, at least to anyone who remembers Say Anything.

Foods Most Likely to Survive Armageddon
If nothing else makes it onto your grocery shopping/pillaging list, make sure you have these stalwart edibles.

White rice
Bouillon cubes
Powdered eggs
Powdered milk
Those individual packs of crackers and cheese you spread with that little red plastic knife
Canned soups (especially Campbell's Chunky, which supposedly eats like a meal; that should make it go a lot further)

DON'T FORGET!
One scenario proposed by doomsday theorists is the sudden geomagnetic reversal of the Earth's poles. Make sure you back up all your computer data before this happens, particularly your MP3 library. The afterlife is a long time, and you're going to want those NPR podcasts.

Alternate Endings (Every belief system has its own end-of-days scenario. Which one is right for you?)
NORSE MYTHOLOGY: Translated from Old Norse as “final destiny of the gods,” Ragnarok refers to a series of major events, including a great battle, a set of natural disasters, and the flooding of the Earth. Afterward, the world resurfaces fertile and anew, repopulated by two human survivors and redecorated by IKEA.

Other Doomsday 2012 Prognosticators
Of course, lots of people – not just the ancient Maya – predicted that the world would meet its demise this year, including:

Nostradamus, French soothsayer
Jose Arguelles and Terence McKenna, New Age philosophers
Kalki Bhagavan, guru
Whoever's in charge of programming at the History Channel
Bashar, an extraterrestrial being who communicates through a human medium named Darryl Anka. That is, whenever Anka isn't busy with his day job as a Hollywood special effects artist for such films as Pirates of the Caribbean and Live Free or Die Hard. (No joke. Check out www.bashar.org and www.imdb.com respectfully.)

Hate the Game, not the Player (get to know the entire cast of characters behind humanity's obliteration – collect 'em all!)
THE WHITE HORSE, AKA “PESTILENCE”: The first of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse described in the Book of Revelation, Pestilence is often referred to as “the cute one.” Some consider him a symbol of evil, others a symbol of righteousness. In this way, Pestilence is Bill Gates, except less nerdy.

Apocalypse by Any other Name...(other terms that can be used to refer to the end of the world)