Animus

[tinhuvielartanis]

Is it possible that I was wrong all this time? I thought that my soul mate was the only one who could trigger my animus. But he really didn't, despite my faith that it would happen.

The Other One has, though. He has invaded me. No, he invaded me some time ago, and I was just too stupid or naive or unwilling to realise the obvious. Looking back on my poetry, I see it now. Many of the poems are for him. They were all along. My subconscious resonated with his presence.

He has been on my mind all day long.

Every time I close my eyes, his face is tattooed on the blackness of my eyelids. This isn't just love, it's like a possession.

What the hell am I gonna do? What measures can I take to overcome this? I feel like I'm in an emotional meat grinder, being shredded and remade constantly through my waking hours, afraid to sleep for fear of dreaming.

I'm treading a path of damnation, I just know it. It's like I'm a character in a Clive Barker story.

O_O

Help.

Comments

[gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com]

... what?

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Ignore me. I know I'm being vague. It's purposeful. But I need an outlet. Sorry, dottir.

[gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com]

its ok, its your LJ, im just wicked nosy, you know that ;)

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

haha, I know. OH HOW I KNOW.

[gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com]

*cackle* yes well, its a nifty skill to have.

Did you tell someone who it is?

[janalyson.livejournal.com]

I found that either telling the name and the thoughts out loud to someone makes it seem more trivial, than if you are keeping the mystery to yourself. Of course it has to be someone you really trust. But saying the words out loud may help.

Re: Did you tell someone who it is?

[janalyson.livejournal.com]

Especially someone who can tell you how crazy it is. It can be disappointing, but may make you feel better not obsessing about the person after your friend crushes your dreams. LOL

Re: Did you tell someone who it is?

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Not gonna tell anyone either. I already know it's impossible, so that's not really an issue. Admitting it to myself was hard enough, so I just need to work through it or have Hannibal cut my brain out and fry it.

Re: Did you tell someone who it is?

[mizliz.livejournal.com]

Make sure he adds capers...you want to make it nice and tangy.

Re: Did you tell someone who it is?

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

hahahahahaha! :D

Re: Did you tell someone who it is?

[furnacechant.livejournal.com]

I always find the opposite---other emotions, yes, but the way to get rid of unrequited love always seems to be never, never speak of it, not even in your own thoughts.

Re: Did you tell someone who it is?

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

That is what I'm trying to achieve, m'dear.

[dostoevsky-girl.livejournal.com]

though i'm sad for your situation, i love your writing on this. it's so vivid and lovely. you're quite talented :)

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

*blush* thank you. And, don't be sad. I'm more pissed off than anything else.

[paisley-daze.livejournal.com]

Like gunslingaaahhh, I'm curious as hell although I think I know. Do I know of this person? Have you spoken of him in the past?

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Yes but, if you're thinking it's Scottles, it isn't. He's will always just be my Little Bro.

[paisley-daze.livejournal.com]

Nope, I wasn't thinking of Scottles. He's a cutie but not mature or complex enough to throw you for a loop like this "mystery" man. I can wait until we correspond to reveal who I think it might be. Till then, I'll distract myself with getting a life. LOL.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

If you find an extra one, please send it my way.