Pathetic Quiz Day

Pathetic? Why? Only three...count 'em....THREE quizzes in this week's offering. I've been lazy.

( why booooothah )

Never

There are a lot of things I've never done. Some things most everyone has done at least once, but not me. I don't know why. I have no reasons, no answers. It's just the way things are.

I have never:

• been in a fight


• been married


• had a child


• gone to the beach in Summer


• been skiing


• been on a "date" date where the man takes me to dinner and movie


• had a pajama party or attended a pajama party


• gone dancing


• watched Seinfeld or Friends


• been to a funeral


• been molested, raped, or brutalised in any way


• had two men fight over me


• had two women fight over me


• ridden a horse


• ridden a motorcycle


• done a somersault


• gone swimming (I don't know how to swim)


• dropped acid


• gone sailing


• gone on a cruise


• gone SCUBA diving

Well, I'm sure there's more. The list of what I've never done is a lot longer than the list of what I have done. Regarding some of these, that's kinda sad. I need to change some things before I get too old to do it.

"It's just me putting my hand on my heart"

Although she may not see this, I wanted to extend my congratulations for a contest well-played to onyxblue1. I truly enjoyed reading her posts and interacting with her in clauderainsrm's LJ IDOL contest. In my opinion, she's a superstar, just like everyone else who participated. Best of luck to everyone who plays along in the next LJ IDOL!

Salaam.

Brains

My Number One Summer Memory is pretty representative of my feelings regarding the worst season. I was 13 when Aunt Tudi and Granny took it upon themselves to hijack my arse and move it to South Carolina. We moved in the house I would eventually buy years later, behind Uncle Michael and his family. At the time, none of us had AC. In 1981, Global Warming had not even been heard of, as far as I know... I could be wrong there. It was still hotter than Hell's door knob, but not as hot or humid as it is now.

So...we came down here in June of 1981. In July, the heat really started oppressing all us inmates of South Carolina. It was horrible. The only way to get cool was to go outside and fan yourself, hoping that the mosquitoes wouldn't take every last drop of blood in your pathetic, clammy, fish-coloured body. In those days, Uncle Michael would do tons of woodwork and crafts in his little shop. His shop was about the size of two port-a-potties glued together and it was packed to the ceiling with wood, electric tools, and sundry gadgets. It was a Man's Building. It even had the obligatory Lynda Carter (as Wonder Woman, of course) poster adorning the door. Every day, it was tradition: we kids helped Aunt Tudi, Janice, and Granny with the garden and then play until we collapsed from the heat while Uncle Michael went into his shop and sawed wood like mad.

One particular day in July, we were all out in the yard after garden work and play when, suddenly, the sound of Uncle Michael's skill saw stopped. ....And it didn't start back. The kids and women all looked at each other, wondering what was the deal. Then, with a loud crash, Uncle Michael burst out of his shop, stripping off his tee shirt and pulling his hair, which remained sticking out at the sides of his head like sweaty antennae. His eyes looked much like Smidgen's in the icon here, all glow-y and otherworldly, and he was beet red all over. The string of expletives that came out of his mouth made many a dead sailor spin in his watery grave, I can guarantee you that. But, what he said at the end of his tirade has forever defined South Carolina Summers for me, especially now that we're in the throes of Global Warming:

MY GOD DAMNED BRAINS ARE BAKIN'!

Ah yes. The good ole days. ::ambles off to pour herself some sweet tea::