Weirdness

I'm in a weird space today. My head seems to be floating on a string about 2 feet away from my body. That's how it feels, anyway.

Aunt Tudi and I got up at 4:30 this morning and I had the brilliant idea that she should call Hampton Inn to make sure that old lady still worked there. I didn't think of this before, but sleep desperation (not deprivation, 'cos I'm getting lots of sleep) caused me to have that moment of clarity. So she called the hotel and, lo and behold! That old lady hasn't worked there in years.

So we went back to bed.

And I slept until 3 o'clock. THREE PM.

During that time, I dreamt that I was moving into a large house with my new family. It was almost like the Brady Bunch: half the kids belonged to him, half to her. I ended up sharing a room with piperdawn, but we wanted a different room that didn't get the afternoon sun because we were both so hot-natured. So we traded with two of the boys who had a pet Alpaca. The Alpaca wouldn't use the litter box, but was paper trained instead. While I was listening to the father bitch about the Alpaca and all the other animals in the house, we got word that one of the boys had had a sled accident. The sled had been designed by piperdawn, who had made the front too short for steering. I was explaining this to a social worker, using kleenex boxes as a model, and piperdawn curled up on the foot of her bed and pouted, feeling responsible. I told her not to worry about it, that we hadn't started our sled business yet. Then the Alpaca walked through our room. And that was the end of the dream. Oh, I should mentioned that piperdawn had a short little bob of a hair-do with curls that ended on her cheek bones. What this means, I don't know. But I dreamed it, so there you go.

I had some leftover spaghetti for breakfast/lunch/dinner and am hellbent on remaining nauseated and surly until LOST comes on tonight. After that, I'm going back to sleep with the full intention of getting up at a decent hour so Aunt Tudi and I can run off to the beach for a long, long while.

Amen and Hallelujah.

**EDIT**
The time on this is screwy. I wrote it at 4:30, but the time says 1:39. I wasn't even AWAKE at 1:39. Screwy.

NCOD

Apparently, it's National Coming Out Day.

Okay, I'm coming out as mostly hetero. Why? 'Cos I've tried both and prefer boys, prolly 'cos the girls I've been with were selfish little shites.

I'm not totally hetero, 'cos I have a crush on Starbuck.

This closet is now clean.

Now go away.

>8^(

My patience is running thin with a host of individuals, some online, some in RL. I'm just in a piss-poor mood and haven't the ability to just smile and look away today.

That said, I'm probably going to avoid LJ for the rest of the day before I end up saying something that ought not be voiced. I'll just turn out looking like a shithead and, god forbid that happen!

So I have the option of logging off and socialising with Aunt Tudi and the Father Unit. I'd much rather offend them anyway 'cos they always deserve it on some sort of level.

3.5 hours until LOST.

I need drugs.

Okay, I'm back...

Everyone is having a lie down except for me, because I was a lazy arse who didn't get up until 3 PM. It's relatively peaceful and quiet, except for BB Burdie, who has issues with shutting the fuck up.

My foul humour has mellowed a wee bit, so I risked coming back to LJ. So far, so good.

The Father Unit is hellbent on talking about The Past, which is really uncool, 'cos he gets all maudlin and apologetic and all I want to do is visit in peace. I told him this time that he really needs to live in the present and stop bringing all that bullshit up, 'cos he does it every time I'm around him for any length of time and it gets tedious. He said he didn't realise he did that and got even more apologetic. I swear, I'm gonna end up killing him in his sleep....if I can stay awake long enough to do the deed, that is.

Seriously though, he really needs to just let it all go. I haven't the patience for reliving and rehashing hoo-hah that does nothing but make people miserable. If you want to have a decent relationship with me, then try to do what BB can't and shut the fuck up!

I'm really missing the beasties today. My Shmoop is surely feeling abandoned by now. This is the longest she's been away from me since 5 weeks of age. Poor bebbeh. I squeeze her from afar.

It looks like we'll be heading home on Saturday, so we'll have enough time to get the house in order before the beasties return on Monday. I'll be giving them their last flea treatment upon their return home. I think flea season is pretty much over with in our area.

It's supposed to be cloudy and rainy tomorrow: a perfect day to visit the beach! I don't like hot sunny days on the beach. I want my beach days to be cloudy, cool, windy, and rainy, preferably with a rocky cliff in my line of site and maybe some dramatic music from a 1950s British drama. Yeah. I'm hoping that the beach will be abandoned by the sun worshippers and left barren for folks like me, of which I doubt there are very many around right now. It will be glorious, of that I have no doubt. Oh, and I will be taking pictures.

Right now, I can't get my mind off Snakes on a Plane. That's the coolest movie title EVAR. Samuel L. just continues to rise in levels of coolness.

Maybe I need to go be a little social now. I hear stirrings in the other room. It may be time to let BB out of his roost. Since he's decided that I'm Good People, BB has decided to sit on my finger and head and make all manner of noises. I've been accepted into his flock of one. Perhaps I can teach him some rude phrases before heading home. Bwaaahahahah!

(LOST in less than 2 hours...)

Oh, a couple more things

Every time I go out of town, I gain new Live Journal friends. How odd is that? It's cool! But odd. Welcome to the newbies. May god have mercy on your souls.

Also, Me + Key Lime Pie = Dumpity Dump Dump.

I very rarely dump but, when I do, it makes up for all the times I should have. Ugh.

Fambly

Aunt Tudi is now back-peddling on the beach adventure. She says she'll feel guilty leaving the Father Unit alone for a couple of hours and that we need to spend every moment we can with him because he's so lonely.

I suggested that we just play it by ear whilst, inside, I'm screaming for release. I just really need to get away from here for a little while, dig? The Father Unit tends to drive me swiftly mad. Sure, it's a short drive, but it's not a trip I care to take.

Forty minutes 'til LOST.

See me shiver with hesi.......................................tation.

There have been a wee handful of people whom I met online that I have met in real life. The number of folks I'd like to meet or who have expressed a desire to meet me is much greater. Why don't I then?

Well, it's like this. The personality online, particularly on LJ, is the the honest me, the one that has no trouble emoting and expressing. The me in real life is painfully shy, stumbles over her words, and basically is an utter fuck-up because I'm so self-conscious and shy. It takes a while, but first impressions are hard to overcome, so I hesitate to make myself available in RL. Despite my Sithly attitude, I enjoy people liking me, especially people that I like, and I find it distasteful even thinking about ruining their image of me because of my horrible social abilities, or serious lack thereof.

Now this sounds like I put across a personality that I'm not, but that's not true. I'm much more comfortable writing than I am speaking face to face or especially talking on the phone. My lack of inhibitions and honesty shine through on my journal because I want my life to be an open book; however, I can't seem to find my voice by any other means unless I know you very well and for a very long time. _willowmyst and D spent over a week with me a few years ago and it took some time for us to gel as well in RL as it did online. I regret the time we had to waste while I found my legs, but it's a fact of life with me. The same happened with falkenna.

I get fairly nauseated thinking about my pending face-to-face with Barry. I'm certain I shall come across as a short-bus riding professional drooler. I shudder to imagine it....

And the time I talked with clauderainsrm, I jabbered like an idiot 'cos I was so nervous. I just don't do well in social settings...not at all.

I just don't fancy disappointing people with whom I've formed a bond. Everyone else can hop off to hell for all I care. That said, I wouldn't have one problem in the world telling Dubya to his face exactly what I think of him. I don't give a shit what he thinks of me and, as far as I'm concerned, he could choke on a pretzel right now and I'd not feel a thing but relief that he was gone. But anyone on my friends list would get the shy, stumbling soul I tend to become when I'm face to face with someone I admire, but have not yet met. I was a basket case when I met Weird Al Yankovic. So much I could have said, but did I? No. Just couldn't. I'm an idiot.

carmenwatson has invited me for a visit on my way to Mother Ocean. Do I dare? I'd like to, but my shyness may not allow me. ::kicks self:: Someday I might overcome it all. With my luck, I'll die shortly thereafter.