Morning Random Ponderings

Probably the hardest thing I do all day is get out of bed. The task is nigh impossible to achieve at times yet, somehow, I manage to drag my unwilling body to a vertical position and get myself in gear for the day. My best sleep is in the mornings, so I am perpetually denying myself the right to really sleep. Perhaps I should be working a 2nd or 3rd shift job when the time comes for me to work again.

My latent otherworldliness is felt strongly today. I feel like I don't belong here, doing what I'm doing. The hint of needing to be elsewhere and having more important tasks which I've yet to accomplish is evident in the gleam in my eye. I'm out of sorts and my sense of separateness is strong. It's actually been a very long time since I've felt this so strongly. I really try to keep the feeling at bay, to just live normally and be as mundane as possible. But the Fae are calling me. The Upir are whispering. They make it clear that, no matter what I do or say, I am not part of this world set before me. And I am not happy because of it.

But happiness is perspective. Today, I have the wrong perspective and the only person who can correct this is me. I just need to try harder....to at least achieve contentment or the equivalent thereof.

Late last night, a mother cat brought her three kittens to us. They all appear to be very healthy, thank the Mighties! Two of the kittens are ginger and white, the other is a tortoiseshell, mostly black, with a larg tongue of orange flame trailing up the middle of her face and colouring one ear. Because of the black, the orange is accented even more. It looks like her little face is on fire. I've appropriately named her Flame and she's probably the most beautiful cat on the hill, and definitely the most unusual looking.

It's time for me to address the work on my desk. I have my first Zomba/Jive service to process. It's for Marvin Sapp. I also have RCA services for Babyface and Faithless. They're due to ship on 7/18, but I need the time to get everything set up so the process will run smoothly. Today, Keith Anderson is shipping out for RLG. These are quite possibly some of the last services with which I must contend. 'Tis the beginning of the end.

Serenade

I just sang to Joanie, "Please don't go...don't goooo-oo-o-o-o!"

She laughed. I think she's leaving regardless of my feeble attempts to keep her here. She's probably glad to finally be shed of the weirdo chick who's been here way too long...long enough to have her sanity erode exponentially.

::sigh::

I really do hate change.

Clouds. Wind.

It's very cloudy and windy outside, weather that I'd give anything to be outside enjoying. It doesn't even look like it'd be hot, although I know it is.

Today reminds me of a day back in 1981. It was February and I was 13 and still living in Asheville. A winter storm was imminent, so school was called off early. Getting home around 1 PM, I went outside to watch the stormclouds coming over the mountains. The wind was up and it was very cold out. What was so incredible about this moment was that you could actually see the storm coming. There was a squall line and the dark ice clouds loomed in the distance, promising a most dramatic weather event. I remember raising my arms in salute to the coming storm, welcoming it, wishing for it.

When the sleet began, I cheered and danced about in the yard. Winter weather has always excited me, and it probably always will.

Sadly, the storm was a lot of threat and not much on actual weather. I had to go to school the next day. But the feeling I had at that time is something I will never forget and, on days like today, I like to relive those moments and find comfort in an innocence long lost.

Memorable Moments 1

• Being cradled by my Granny when I was 3 years old as she sang "Sleep Kentucky Babe." It is one of my most comfortable and secure memories.


• When I was 4, Cedric the skunk sprayed our house. I remember the adults in the house gagging and throwing open all the doors and windows in the dead of Winter, trying to get the stench out. To this day, I am unphased by skunk spray.


• Speaking of "aromas" I'm also unphased by male cat urine. When I was 14, my cat Toque peed on me on the way to the vet's office. He had not yet been neutered, but was old enough to have the male scent. Our car held the scent forever the longest and I just got used to it.


• Walking with the Mother Unit in the forest around my house when I was 5 (or maybe 6). She found a garter snake and let me hold it. At that moment, I fell in love with snakes and have been in love with them ever since.


• Standing on the front porch at the same house, same age, at night, staring into the forest as a possum stared back at me. All I could see was it's white face looming in the darkness, and those round black eyes sizing me up. I remember thinking how pretty it was...and am still one of the few people in this are who think possums are *cute*.


• Wondering at the statue of Chief Pontiac, which looms over the Pontiac car dealership in Asheville, in 1976. I'd never seen such before!


• Exploring our soon-to-be-new home in Black Mountain, NC, when I was 7. As I stood on an old mattress, looking out the back window, the fleas that infested the mattress found their dinner for that day: ME! I had hundreds of fleas crawling all over me. I remember running and screaming from the back bedroom and Aunt Tudi and Granny having to literally scrape the fleas off of me. Instead of moving in the next day, we moved in a week later, after the landlord fumigated the house, which was an A-frame chalet. It was weird....the roof touched the ground.


• Eating hamburgers with naught but mayonnaise, specially made for me by the chef who worked at my uncle's restaurant in Black Mountain. Again, I was 7. These were the best hamburgers I'd ever had or will ever have.


• Lying in my bed praying to god to make the pain of a horrible earache stop when I was 9. It didn't work.


• Sitting in the movie theatre having my life irrevocably changed upon seeing Star Wars in 1977. I wasn't quite 10 years of age and I was utterly transformed from a Disney Dweeb to a Sci-Fi Geek in the matter of two hours.


• Singing "Victims" by Culture Club in the auditorium at high school and being caught by Andy, who begged me to sing again as he played piano. I didn't do it, and I regret that. I was 16.


• Going to see For the Love of Benji with cousins Johnna and Michael when I was 10. They loved it. I was unamused.

It has not rained.

So it looks like I'll be mowing grass in approximately 15 minutes. I'd rather be shot in the eye with a potato gun, but whatever..

Incomplete and a thought

I zizzed home and jumped on the tractor, mowing as quickly as I could since the clouds were gathering on the horizon. If someone had filmed me, I would have looked like Mowin' Man from the After Dark screensaver. Yeah, that fast. After 20 minutes of that, I popped indoors to get a swig of something cold, then right back out I went. After moving the bench, the gutter splash guards, and the garden hose, I went to the out-building and pulled out the push mower to do the back yard and finish the perimeter of the front yard. Just when I was about to crank the beast up, the sky opened up and began raining. DAMN! So now my grass is at two different lengths and still looks like shite. Crapola.

I threw up my hands and came in for a shower. After the shower, whilst I was drying, I was visited by Shmoop. She was demanding lurve and petting at that very moment and refused to take no for an answer. There I was, dripping wet and petting the kitten. Then it hit me. I don't know why it hit me, but it did.

If Shmoop lived with Snoop Dogg, her name would be Shmizzle. And if Smidgen lived with them, she would be Shmiznit.

Since then, I've been seriously amused.

In about an hour, I'll be on my way to see Llew. It's been a long day and tomorrow promises to be even longer, so I'm planning on getting home early and going to bed. Since sleep is officially my favourite passtime, it's the one thing I'm looking forward to for the rest of the day.

Diane

Just got an email from Cathy. After losing her mother this past Friday, Diane had a heart attack last night. She's at the heart center in Spartanburg. Her mom's funeral was last night. It must have been too much on Diane. I'm waiting to hear if she's in CCU or can receive visitors. If she can receive visitors, I'm going over there after work tomorrow.

Diane is the last person on Earth to have to deal with something like this. I feel so bad for her, I don't know what to do.