Llew

[tinhuvielartanis]

After not hearing from Llew since he called to let me know he'd made it to Pennsylvania, I caved and dialed his number today. It turns out that the day after he arrived in Pennsylvania, he collapsed and was hurried to the hospital and he's been there ever since. According to him, they haven't figured out what's wrong with him yet, but they have done a bunch of tests, including a stress test. I told him I'd call him back over the weekend to see how he's doing and I stressed to him to make his family take care of him after he gets out of the hospital.

I'm so fearful for him. I just have the foreboding feeling that he's gonna end up very sick, homeless, and without anyone to be there for him. And there's nothing I can do. Nothing at all. It's a horrible feeling to love someone who makes all the wrong choices and places himself in harm's way. It's like he has a death wish or no capacity for self preservation.

Comments

[lebonheurbum.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. :-/ I wish I had something more helpful to say.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about it, hon. It seems that all I ever post now is bad news or horrific prose, so I don't expect anyone to respond. Thank you for caring, though. You're a good soul.

[tru2myart.livejournal.com]

:kisses and hugs you: Ahh Tin, you have such a good heart. I know you love him but my Dad always used to say there are just some battles that you have to be willing to forfeit before the person you're battling takes you down with them. I think Llew is fitting that category.

I wouldn't stop calling him and checking on him, just to keep his spirits up. But you are such a beautiful, intelligent woman. I don't want to see you let your spirit die for him you know? You deserve happy.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

I don't deserve you, m'love.

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn.

*hugs and love*

I am so sorry. But sometimes people do have that seed of doom within them, and all you can do is stand aside and let them go where they have to. If it is his time, he'll go, and all you can do is grieve and pray that his passing is peaceful.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

It's hard to stand aside, even when that's the only thing I can do. But why am I telling you this? You already know it. ::sigh:: I'm just knackered from grief at the moment. Maybe some sleep, eh? ::hugs you back::

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

*wraps you in love and light* I'm envisioning Llew in a flame of healing and light, and I hope that it helps. But honestly, in the end, I am hoping for the best for you and he, whatever that may mean for you individually.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

It's the powerlessness that gets you, the inability to be there for someone you love the way you want to be.

That's not a failure on your part, so please don't punish yourself for it.

Be there as best you can.

That's what you can do, and I know you'll do it well.

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

Anytime.

You know this.