At long last, I bit the bullet and updated my profile page here. It had gotten cluttered with years of adding info/pics/videos/etc without thought to format or organise in any logical manner. Please take a gander and let me know if anything needs to be changed, or you find any mistakes. Just clickie on the piccie, and you will be whisked away to something a bit more shiny and streamlined.
Mars Editor is a pain in the arse to use as a LiveJournal client. Now, I'm trying asLJ.
I still desperately long for Semagic, but it doesn't look like a Mac version of that will ever come to fruition. The main thing I loved about Semagic was its ability to notify when when a friend or community would post. That little blinking pencil always caught my attention and made me feel much more involved in the LJ community. Since I have been without that, I feel like an umbilical cord has been cut.
So, maybe asLJ will be a better fit, even though I still don't get notifications. Time will tell.
I began this journal 2 years before Smidgen came into my life. I began this journal 9 years before losing Aunt Tudi. I began this journal 11 years before abandoning everything I had ever truly ever known, and moved west with the Mother Unit, what little hope I thought I had left, nestled away in a tiny pocket I keep buried in my brain.
Over the course of these twelve years, I have experienced love and shock and passion and success. I've seen dreams come true and hopes shattered. I have forged my own philosophies, and I have returned to my long-term position of agnosticism. I have met some miraculous souls and bonded friendships whilst, at the same time, losing friends I never thought I'd say goodbye to. I've lost the most important person in my life, which threw me into an admission to myself I still can't write about. Some have already guessed, but I have never, nor will I ever, acknowledge it. Unspoken love is unspoken for a reason.
I have tried to commit suicide more than once. As this post clearly indicates, I'm rather deficient in that talent. Do I still think about it? Every day. The thought of it comforts me in a way nothing else can.
It has been my friends, more than anything, that have kept me alive. Most often, I thank them for this, but I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I resent their meddling. I'm not a brave person, nor am I a hard worker, or anything special enough to really be missed in this world. I most often feel like a burden to my family and many of my friends. My logic is, the world would be better off without me. Then again, the world would be better off without humanity, period. I'm just offering to volunteer as one of the first to go.
Still, I persist, as does The Cliffs of Insanity. If you've been with me for the majority of this decade, you know the blog's name lives up to its legacy. I would hope that Wallace Shawn would be proud.
I don't know what the next 12 years will bring, if they bring anything else. I hesitate to predict, because I would never have predicted some of the things that happened in the first 12 years of the 21st Century. I'll leave that mumbo-jumbo up to Miss Cleo. Just know that, in my own anti-social and vicious way, I love all of you, and I hope you love me too, if only for a brief moment in this infinity of uncertainty we call existence.
Today, I got the cooking bug, and have made a beef stew, with top round roast, new potatoes (white and red), carrots, onions, and garlic. It's smelling good, if I do say so myself. This is the first stew I've ever made, so I'm hoping it turns out well, seeing as how this is only the second thing I've ever cooked for the Mother Unit, and she's used to Matt's cooking. Matt is professionally trained. There's no way I can out-do him, but I'm hoping I can at least keep the Unit happy in the culinary department whilst he's away with family in Portland.
My right knee has just about had it. I'm going to have to get to a doctor soon before I scream and die. This is not dramatics, it's just plain fact. I have a large pocket of fluid right on the front of the knee, below the patella. It hurts like all Sith Hell, and walking Toby every couple of hours in a hilly environment is not helping my severe state of disability.
Apparently LJ has a new feature that ranks your journal in, I suppose, popularity. This is what I got:
I'm not really certain I agree with that, considering I've been more AWOL than not these past couple of years. Surely, I'd be further down on the totem pole. That's okay, though; I'll take it. Hopefully, my ranking will climb now that I'm trying to be more active here again. We'll see.
If you're curious about what your ranking is, just go to the LJ home page, and it should be right there near the top. Of course, you have to be logged in for it to show.
Must go stir the stew again. It's almost ready to be devoured, hopefully with enthusiasm. Gordon Ramsay, eat your heart out!
So far, it's been a pretty depressing day. I've had to bug people I really did not want to bug...like ever again, to be honest. I've gotten crap news about a computer that was really good. I'm scared to death the transfer of data is going to end up losing me a buttload of music. The movies I'm not worried about. The music? Oh hell yes. I want to just pour my disappointment and angst here on LJ, and I don't feel comfortably doing stuff like that anymore. I have no one to talk to, and it's honestly pissing me off to the point of tears.
Honestly, I can't believe I've kept this blog current for so long. I figured it would only last a few weeks before I lost interest.
Sort of like the only five Tim Roth Tutorials I was going to make.
Things get out of hand. Crap gets said. In public. That which is unleashed cannot be re-chained with complete success.
The Cliffs of Insanity is my Kraken. Someone needs to hold up a gorgon's head and stop the madness.
Although tempted to lock down the whole thing and set fire to the Internet to raze this monstrous creation from existence, I'm gonna trudge onward, but doubtfully upward. Because, apparently, that's how I roll; refusing to learn lessons smacked upside my head.
::blows little paper birthday horn thingie and tosses a few scraps of confetti::
I'm constantly being spammed here on the Cliffs of Insanity. It's been going on for some time now, but I figured you'd reign in the offenders and protect your core base from such offence. But it has only gotten worse. And it's really starting to piss me off. Having to delete spam off my journal entries, particularly the ones about the passing of Aunt Tudi, is getting to be more than just an inconvenience; it is becoming an issue serious enough to make me consider moving the entire Cliffs to a new blogging service.
Get your shit together...or I am leaving, one way or another.
I'm getting increasingly annoyed with the spam bots that keep hitting my blog. Even though I have non-friends filtered to where these things never show up, it's still a bother to have to manually delete the posts. Is there anything being done about this problem? I've been a loyal blogger here on LJ for almost a decade now and I'd hate to have to leave because my journal has been infested by irritants like these spam bots. Please eradicate this plague as soon as you can. Thank you.
That was paragraph number one. This is number two.
Paragraph three has to do with my frakking ankle, which hurts like a toothache from hell. The doctor to whom I was referred may not be able to see me until after the stupid 4 July joke of a horribleday. I had to cancel the dogs' grooming appointment and my eye exam appointment for today, considering that I can't get around very well.
Paragraph four reminds me of that song, "Don't Get Around Much Anymore." hahahaha.
Five ~ Let's see how this works.
I honestly can't believe how many people are wanting signed copies of the book. And here I am with crap penmanship. Guess I should start practicing.
It's been hours since I've had an Internet connection and it's driving me crazy. What's going on? What's the skinny, the dealio, the ultimate news? I have nothing of it and I want it badly! I feel like a limb has been chopped off and no one designed a prosthetic for me. It sucks to the nth degree. I feel like fretting, but I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself to fret. The time is 9:20 PM DST.
Damn damn damn.
The time is now 7:30 DST. Still no connectivity. The monkey on my back is jumping up and down and screeching. I think it's a howler monkey. I'll be heading to the library at 9 PM to catch up with my emails and see how the book is doing. This could not have happened to me at a worst time! Dammit on a kebab stick!
No wait...I have it! I have connectivity! It's alive, I tell you, aliiiiiiive!
I gots me some new friends thanks to therealljidol's friending frenzy. Thanks for thinking I was worth adding to your most auspicious lists of LJ pals. My life is pretty much an open book thanks to The Cliffs of Insanity but, if there's something in particular you want to ask, go for it. I'm looking forward to learning about each of you as time goes by. I don't comment much, but I do always read. If there's something in particular you want to bring to my attention, just scream at me. I'm slowly getting back into writing in my blog after almost a year of working to promote a personal cause of mine and writing Joker fanfiction. Yes, I'm a big freak.
Anyway, welcome to the Cliffs of Insanity. Hopefully, you'll find something here that will make you happy.
On top of the heat misery, I've got a gas bubble that keeps moving around in my abdomen making me feel I've been impregnated by the Soccer Aliens of Planet Hooligan. All I want to do is pass this gas and avoid going outside until November, is that so wrong?