I Miss Fitzgerald

[tinhuvielartanis]

I know it may sound callous of me, but I'm not dealing well with the loss of Fitzgerald. I knew Sheba was sick. I prepared myself for her. I know she's no longer suffering. But Fitzgerald is still alive and I don't know how he is the way I want to. I get reports that he's back with his brother and both are very happy on the farm, but I don't see that. I always think the worst. What if something happens to him and I'm not there for him? What if the guy decides to give him to someone else who keeps him on a chain or in a pen? There's nothing I can do about it and it's distressing me more than anything has in a very long time. My heart wants to contact Becky and have her bring him back. Hell, bring Buddy too. My brain tells me that this is a very bad idea. They'd only break out of the fence and put themselves in harm's way. It's just gonna take time for me to come to grips with the fact that Fitzgerald couldn't stay here, no matter how much or how long it hurts me. I'm being selfish. I want a Beagle in my life and I know that Fitzgerald can't be that Beagle. It's not prudent to get another dog right now anyway. Times are too rough to take on another mouth to feed. We were already having trouble feeding the animals we had. No. I need to get myself together and be logical about this. There's no sense in blubbering over a situation that isn't going to fix itself without the time needed to heal.