The Draw

Since I could not sleep, instead of lying in the dark staring at my own thoughts, I decided to do a little proofing of the Cadmus stories. There is a striking thread throughout the narratives, which is Cadmus' eternal gaze that absorbed everything around him. And I remembered something striking. I had not thought about it for years because I no longer have that letter that was written to me by a complete stranger who felt compelled to offer up his own surreal experience like some strange gift. It was as though he was looking for comfort or absolution for sins I doubt he ever committed.

In the letter he documented a meeting just like the ones I've written about in the stories. He was drawn in by the gaze and felt simultaneously drained and mesmerise. And not a word was ever spoken. I was so haunted by this account, it apparently became a central part of Cadmus' deep demeanor. I wish I still had that letter. I can just remember the gist of the story now, but I do remember one bit from the letter, verbatim: "He just stared at me and through me at the same time. While everyone else was having a good time, he seemed to absorb it all, but was strangely unaffected by it. To this day, it kind of creeps me out, but I'll never forget the experience." I can't even remember the name of the letter's author, but I do remember that.

It's funny how some true things just inexplicably end up in a work of fiction. Not funny ha ha, but funny what the hell. This was one of those things that lodged itself into my subconscious and was recycled into nightmares and a kind of fascination. It certainly has defined Cadmus on pretty much every level.

And that really disturbs me.