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The Final Date, part 1

This one took some time. I think the main reason it did is that I know it's my last Date Night story and I hate goodbyes. I'm not certain if I'll write other Joker fanfiction stories or not. I guess I'll just have to wait and see which muse takes me by the throat. I can say that I'm kinda proud of this one. I think it does what I intended for it to do, which was to wrap up some loose ends (Roxy and Annie, Sidney, the Almighty iPod, and the fate of Leopold the Hedgehog) and give some folks who requested it the promised threesome I teased about in "The Pet Shop Clerk's Date." It also passes the Joker torch from Heath Ledger, may he rest in peace, to Norvus Cobblepot. No disrespect to Heath Ledger or his performance is intended here, but I believe props need to be given where they're deserved. I think I did that with this story. That said.....

Before we get this show on the road, there are some important things that need to be said about this final date of the Joker’s.

· Ned Kelly is a movie that starred Heath Ledger in the title role. I haven’t seen it, but I wanted a major nod to Mr. Ledger in this story, since this was the last one in the Date Series.

· Another major inspiration for this story was Stealers Wheel’s song “Stuck in the Middle with You.” Here are the full lyrics, for anyone interested.

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
'Cause I don't think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
And you're proud that you're a self made man,
And your friends, they all come crawlin,
Slap you on the back and say,
Please.... Please.....

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you,
Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
Stuck in the middle with you.

Hopefully, my use of the song will help scrub the brains of several psychically-damaged Reservoir Dogs viewers, but probably not, since the movie is referenced as well. Ha! Either way, I wouldn’t mind having a clown to the left of me (never thought I’d say that) and Joker to the right. Just trying to be honest. Honesty is, after all, the best policy.

· The song to which Annie serenades the Joker and Roxy is “Mandocello” by Cheap Trick. It was also covered by Concrete Blonde which, over the course of the Date Series, has become the top contender in scoring my personal Joker. Don’t ask me why, as I’m as perplexed by this as anyone else may be. At any rate, if you haven’t heard Concrete Blonde, you really need to. Johnette Napolitano, the soul of the band, is a total genius. Her music and lyrics are nothing short of miraculous, inspirational, and magickal.

· The end of this story is not mine at all, save for a little artistic license on my part. It’s not so easy to flesh out a script, which is what this was, and turn it into prose, so I hope my attempt measures up, at least in part, to the brilliance of the original script. In my own little Joker world, I’d like to think that the friend to whom Mister J infers might be smuggling out the sessions in “Arkham Bound” is actually Annie, perhaps with the help of Roxy. All that said, the end of the story belongs to Mister J and the whole Joker Blogs crew, and is the beginning of The Joker Blogs, entitled “Therapy Begins.” Without them, I don’t think I would have continued to write the Joker for as long as I have. Certainly ‘The Banker’s Date,’ although very much inspired by PaisleyDaze, wouldn’t have been written, nor would have ‘The Singer’s Date.’ The part where J notes that Kelly is a girl’s name is also Blogs-inspired. The mention of Steve is also from the Blogs. Again, I can’t stress enough that you people who haven’t seen these Blogs really really really need to. Here’s the URL: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheJokerBlogs. Now skadoodle (I took that from there, too, but you’ll have to watch them all to see from which Blog I got it. Now you have to watch them. All. Neener.).

· The Final Date is dedicated to Kanike (rancid_rainbow), gratefuldread (Harley Queen), paisleydaze, miintikwa, booraven22, Gerry Rafferty (glad you’re alive!), Johnette Napolitano, the Joker Blogs Dude (I’m calling you Norvus Cobblepot until you, at last, reveal yourself to the Jedi, and the Sith) and, of course, Heath Ledger. Without Heath, none of this would even exist. May your time in the Summerlands be graced with joy, peace, and blessed sleep, until you decide to return to awe and inspire us all over again.

( The Final Date )

The Final Date, part 2

Here's part 2 of "The Final Date." Some may hate it, some may love it. Either way, I hope you at least kinda like it.

( cut for sexual situations and tales of violence )

Photie-op!

Aunt Tudi and I are both relatively presentable today, so the camera was brought out kicking and screaming.

( the gory result )

I think I'm gonna make that pic of Smidge and me into our new icon. The one I have of us now is pretty old and needs replacing.

Things you don't see every day

A 65-year-old woman tug-of-warring a lollipop with a retarded chihuahua. Aunt Tudi got herself a lollipop at the bank today while I was taking care of some business. She just opened it and was eating on it when she dropped it. Toby grabbed it. And a new Special Olympics competition was born: Lolly-tugging with Team AARP and Team ARF as competitors! Yeah, never a dull moment in Tin's world. This is a perfect example of why my journal is called the Cliffs of Insanity.