For Today

I get to visit Dr. Crackyerbones at 10. Then I get to come home and mow the grass, trim around Chester's eyes so he won't perceive the world as incredibly hairy, fill out some paperwork and help Aunt Tudi with some paperwork, then go to work at Sally Foster.

I guess I should celebrate Columbus day, but I'm really not keen on honouring a man who abused Native Americans in the name of god. So, fuck you, Chris! And fuck this so-called horribleday.

Monkey Crisis

We're watching the news and the ticker at the bottom said something about a money crisis. Aunt Tudi read it as "monkey crisis." That's much more interesting. From now on our economic upheaval is dubbed The Monkey Crisis. It may be more appropriate.

In recognition of Columbus Day....

Captain Cook by Shriekback circa 1992

After 8 weeks at sea following the trade winds
southeast of Java we sighted land
At first no more than a long white cloud high above
the ocean

As we drew closer we could discern mountains and soon
verdant plains and lush forests
As we anchored, the native people ran from their rude
dwellings to observe us

Captain Cook took myself, 4 marines with muskets, and
a padre, and long boat onto the beach,
And there he planted the English flag upon the land,
claiming as a colony of the Crown.

As he did so, their chief, a tall man clad in
fish-skins came to greet us

Captain Cook said:

We bring the gospel of the one true god,
We bring you medicine and video games
We bring the language of the English queen,
We bring you alcohol and MTV
We bring you syphilis and organised crime
We bring you cinema and chemical war
We bring the poison of our factory-minds
We bring the terror of the passing of time

And the chief said to Captain Cook, "Who are you white man?"
The Captain replied, pointing as his own breast "friend"

The Chief did not understand.
So the Captain pointed out to sea at our vessel and said "ship"

And still the chief did not understand
So the captain pointed at a rifle
And he said "Gun"

And the chief said "Gun" and smiled
And the word caught fire in the chief's mind
And splintered into a thousand other words for which he had no meaning

Words for machines that flew into the night behind the stars
The great cities made of metal and glass
And new kinds of death

And the chiefs head was spinning with this new language
These. . . these words
And he could no longer remember his own tongue
And he began to weep
Saying "I don't want to know your language white man"

And Captain Cook said:

Nothing you know can be unlearned
None of your bridges be unburned . . .
the new words stick in the brain forever
no-one stays stupid while someone's clever
We're transmitting you receive -this is the
software-do you believe?

And the chief spoke to his people
There as the waves lapped upon the beach
And the Captain waited knowing nothing could forestall
the tide of history coming in over the heads of these
gentle and beautiful people

And when the chief turned to Captain Cook and said
"We will do battle with you white man
You will have to kill us all"

Captain Cook just smiled said
"Nothing personal Chief. We're not here to fight you
We're here to transmit a virus
We're here to transmit a virus called the future
A virus called the future
We're here to transmit a virus called the future
Called the future
Called the future
Called the future"

Civilisation is Syphilisation
and yesterday's reason is today's superstition
there are new receivers and a new transmission
We're here to pass on this information: the language/virus inculcation
The Prophets and Madmen sing their song:
'Nobody right-nobody wrong -this is our message
Pass it on
Pass it on
Pass it on...

This one's easy

When you see this, post in your own journal with your favourite quote from The Princess Bride. Preferably not "As you wish" or the Inigo Montoya speech.

Mine:  "Whoever he is, he's too late.  See?  The Cliffs of Insanity!"

Name meme stolen from the lovely jadecat

This is the new version of the "[your name] needs" Google meme. Go to google.com and type in [your name] followed by each word to find a sentence about yourself (theoretically, it will most likely be about someone else, though unless you're a celebrity). : ) Putting it in quotes will help you get back a good sentence.

Tracy needs to get PAID
Tracy looks gorgeous
Tracy says have a good day
Tracy does Conan
Tracy hates the woods so ran through them
Tracy asks judge to clarify ruling
Tracy goes goes thumpin' like this
Tracy likes picking blueberries
Tracy wears many hats
Tracy was arrested for Theft by Unlawful Taking

Have fun, people!

Profound Truth

Someone I know sent me one of those "smile" emails that's full of pictures and sayings that are supposed to make you all gooey and compel you to smile and feel all schmoopy. I usually just delete these things without looking at them but, this time I opened it just for the hell of it. It was a list of sayings about Life and one pierced me with its incredible wisdom.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.


If that doesn't explain every damned thing, I don't know what would.

Shmaltzy Emo Lyrics Post

On iTunes the song "Seventeen Again" by the Eurythmics just played. This song never fails to bring big globular tears to my eyes. It's like they reached into my memories of the 80s and turned them into a song. Sure, they were writing about their own memories, but I never dreamt that the Eurythmics were sharing the wild, wondrous, and tragic moments of that decade in much the same way as I. It drew me even closer to this band that scored the movie of my life throughout the majority of the 80s.  Perhaps quite perfectly, the song ends with Annie singing "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." It just clinches the poignancy and intensity of "Seventeen Again" and draws every listener who was there with the Eurythmics back then back to those precious moments in an almost physical capacity. This song is magickal and is just this side of being successful at actual time travel. So here are the lyrics, behind a cut so I won't offend those who don't like lyrics posts. My message to them is in my body of my LJ cut.

( ska-rew yew )

Thinking about this song, and how it transports those of us who were part of this time back to that time, has made me think about the ability of time to ravage a person's spirit. As I get older, I come to understand why Tolkien's Elves and so many Vampires throughout literature seem so forlorn. When they outlive people, creatures, and even eras, all they have are the memories and, as time treads onward, those memories begin to bring pain as much as pleasure. Knowing that you can never recapture that moment or interact with that person or creature begins to pierce the heart like nothing else can. With mortals, that piercing becomes fiercer with age and only death can bring relief and release. But with the immortal tribes, the piercing grows ever more intense and there's no release from it ever. It only grows with time and it eats away at the immortal's spirit. There's no escape from time's ravages and the immortal begins to walk in woe, enshrouded by her loss. Thinking of it this way, and knowing how each loss beats me down more with every passing year, I don't think I would ever choose to become immortal. I think I'd much rather embrace my mortality and lift up a sign large enough for the Reaper to see that says "CHECK PLEASE!"

So yeah.

***EDIT***
And it gets even emo-ier (that's not a word, but work with me here)! I read a lot of my posts to Aunt Tudi, who flat out refuses to have anything to do with the Internet, despite my pleas and seductions. About halfway through reading this post this post to Aunt Tudi, I started crying like a beer-swilling weasel. I really should have my Sith card revoked and be shot on sight.