Voice Post:

DNA

( That's right....DNA! )

Compound Eyes and BC (Before Cable)

That song, "Too Much Time on My Hands" by Styx: I'm starting to relate to it. There's a line in it, near the beginning, that goes: Is it any wonder I'm not crazy? Is it any wonder I'm sane at all? That's me and I came to grips with the truth of it earlier today when I started contemplating compound eyes and what effects on society having them would have. Yeah, I know that it's thought that the facets of the compound eye are communicated as a singular image instead of a whole lot of the same image, but I was pondering on the multiple-image eyesight during my theories regarding, say.....wasp society.

I chose the wasp 'cos I saw one on the front porch a few days ago, it's teardrop arse dangling an inch from its body as it burrrrrzed about lazily, rubbing in the promise of Spring without the appearance of Winter. Sensing my resentment, the wasp eventually floated away.

For the purposes of my theory, let's say that wasps have 10 facets on each compound eye. If each facet worked independently, that would mean that a wasp would then see 20 of everything. So wasp math would be based on increments of 20. 20-40-60-80-100 would be like our 1-2-3-4-5. This would also mean that wasps think there are way more of humans about than there really are. When it stings just one of us, 20 of us chase after it while they all freak out and swell up. It would be kinda terrifying to think that a posse hellbent on your destruction was just right around the corner. After Humanity has destroyed all the natural habitat, wasps will see the last tree alive as at least 20 trees, the beginnings of a festive little forest! All nouns would be plurals because the wasp would not understand the concept of any form of singularity, seeing everything in plural and being a member of a hive mind. When one wasp would tell another wasp it was heading back to the hive, s/he'd might say: "Yo, so we're heading back to the homes. See y'all there!"

So. Too much time on my hands. The mind is turning to overcooked oatmeal.

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popfiend made note of my mention of "pre-Cable" in one of my posts from yesterday. To those of you born after, say....1978.....:

There was a time in history, not so very long ago,
when there was no such thing as Cable Television

• We were lucky if we had 4 channels in our neck of the woods: the ABC affiliate, the CBS affiliate, the NBC affiliate, and the local PBS station.


• Bugs Bunny cartoons were always shown from 9 'til 11 every Saturday morning, and none of the violent or rude parts were cut from them so as not to damage our delicate little child psyches.


• We tuned our TV stations in with a set of "rabbit ears" antennae that sat on top of the television. Sometimes the cunning use of foil would be employed, most often using one of the kids as antennae extensions for better reception.


• Our TVs usually didn't have remote controls. The remote control of most families' households was the youngest member of the family, who was ordered to get up and flip the channel using the channel dial attached to the front of the TV.


• By the same token, channel surfing had yet to be invented, as it was a result of TV remotes and the wide choice of shows afforded by the coming of the Great Cable God.


• Most kids shows were reserved for the weekend, but were often pre-empted or "joined in progress" thanks to the many sports events also reserved for the weekend.


• If you missed a show, you missed it! We didn't have VCRs and re-runs were few and far between.


• TV Guides were pamphlet-style, bound with 2 to 3 staples with long descriptions of each TV show because there were so few channels and not that many shows.


• When the announcer mentioned a TV "Event," he was usually quite accurate. There was few things to inspire excitement, so the "Events" we enjoyed were truly that: EVENTS. A special episode of "Friends" isn't an EVENT. "Roots," on the other hand, IS!


• We had no choice but to watch The Olympics when they were being held. One network showed the coverage and all the other two networks covered that covered. PBS would discuss it all.


• The Jerry Lewis Telethon was looked-forward-to by many people desperate to break up the monotony. Actual celebrities would participate because they had nowhere else to go.


• The stations went off the air usually at Midnight, maybe 1 AM. "The Star Spangled Banner" was played and images of America would be displayed. Afterward, viewers could enjoy the sleep-inducing TV snow and white noise. An excellent example of this would be the beginning of the movie Poltergeist. Carol Ann could never be possessed in the Cable Age. No TV snow!


• The Christmas shows like "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" and "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" were always shown on CBS and often pre-empted in order to finish showing a football game that had gone into overtime.


• When the President spoke, every channel showed it. You missed your shows and had one of two choices regarding his address: 1) You could watch it or 2) You could turn off the TV. Thank the Mighties for Cable, now that we no longer have a president but, instead, a Dick Tater to whom only the mentally and ethically challenged want to listen. I can switch to the Cartoon Network and watch censored Bugs Bunny cartoons.


• For musical programming, we had "American Bandstand," "Soul Train," "Friday Night videos," and "The King Biscuit Flower Hour." MTV didn't exist. It's sad that MTV ceased to exist over a decade ago.


• In the mornings, we had no choice but game shows. In the early afternoons, we had no choice but soap operas. Late afternoons were dedicated to syndicated shows, most usually Gunsmoke or The Andy Griffith Show. There was always local news at 6 and national news at 6:30. Same at 11 and 11:30. News wasn't at our fingertips 24/7. All sorts of shit could happen and we wouldn't know til hours later.


• "Sesame Street" was the kids' show, then "The Electric Company" (for older and hipper kids). It only came on twice a day and that was it for the day. Kids had to enterain themselves or each other until it was time for more boob tube. Barney wasn't even an idea. TV wasn't a good babysitter back then.


• It sometimes took years for a movie to come to television and, then, it would be edited for time and content. People were let know what special movies they had to look forward to in the Fall Issue of the TV Guide.


• Board games were one of the main forms of family entertainment when nothing good was on TV. People did more with each other then.

Have I missed anything? Stupid question. I know I have.