Dec. 23rd, 2003

tinhuvielartanis: (Gothmas)
It just occurred to me that I've grown to loathe "All the Things She Said" by TaTu. It's irritating, grating, and that little girl voice makes various parts of my body draw up to far beyond the uncomfortable point.

Back at work today. Although I was to come in at 7am, I opted to arrive at 8 instead. Every past Xmas, I would come in at my regular 7am, then we'd be allowed to leave 2 hours early; however, I still had to stay until 3 along with everyone else. That meant I only got 1 hour off. Since I would prefer to spend as little time in the The Pit as possible, I took matters into my own hands and herded myself in with everyone else at the normally appointed time. It's such a joy being a corporate slave. We serfs are deeply grateful.

Paisley stayed at the hospital last night. Dr. Patch decided that he would collect the urine sample since it was obvious Paisley was straining to use the bathroom, but only a drop or two of urine would come out at a time. We're to go back to his office this afternoon to find out what's going on. He said her kidney's looked great and her blood levels were fine, so he's pretty certain this is a bladder infection or possibly a crystal. I wonder if they have kitty lithotriptors.

Speaking of the vet's office, we took Riley with us yesterday so Lori could visit with him while we talked to Dr. Patch. On our way in, one of the assistants was outside with this huge Saint Bernard. The monster dog looked just like Cujo. Her name was Annie and, when she saw Riley, it was obvious she thought he was an hor d'oevre. She ran up to him, looming over him with her muzzle on his back. The poor dog screamed like a little girl. Of course, if I were his size and Cujo came up to me, I'd probably be screaming too. We hustled Riley in doors where he promptly wet the floor. I'd never seen the phrase "having the piss scared out of you" enacted in such detail before.

I have a horrible crick in the left side of my neck. It would be really nice if someone would rub my neck or at least pop it. Maybe I need Eddie Izzard's chiropractor to "crack my bones!"

There's nothing to do here. I guess I could catch up on my filing, but I really can't be bothered to be honest. I'd much rather go back home and go to bed.

Well, duh.

Dec. 23rd, 2003 08:55 am
tinhuvielartanis: (Pentagram)
Virgo
Your karmic zodiac is VIRGO.
Good Qualities: You tend to like organization and
structure. Your somewhat depressive sometimes,
but you remain loyal to those who are close to
you. You tend to be modest, and you like to
help others, even if it means sacrificing what
you want. With Mercury as your ruling planet
you tend to pay attention to details.
Bad Qualities: You tend to give too mach to others,
which makes you an easy targt for people who
seek to take advantage of others. You're a bit
depressive, and tend to see the worst in every
situation. You over organize to the point that
you're almost (if not) obsessive compulsive.
Best Matches: Sagittarius, Capricorn.
Best to Avoid: Gemini, Cancer.


What's your Karmic Zodiac Sign?
brought to you by Quizilla

Will

Dec. 23rd, 2003 09:28 am
tinhuvielartanis: (Default)
This past weekend, I wrote out my will in the event I don't survive the surgery. Daddy is getting his sister-in-law, who works for a bigshot lawyer in Columbia, to work it up for me and have her boss make it all legal. What's great about this is it's going to be free, since I just can't afford to have a will made out under my own steam. I'm so pathetic....it sucks so much to be poor.

Anyway, one of the directions in my will is to have my journal given over to Aunt Tudi and Llew. Aunt Tudi has read very little of the journal, since she doesn't do the Internet, and there are parts of the journal that Llew was unable to read since he's not an LJ member. I place just about everything here and I want them to know the Whole Story, as 't'were, should I depart this vale of tears.

So I've exported the journal month by month and am now in the process of printing out the whole megillah. It's a daunting task, but one I need to do and quickly.

Her.....

Dec. 23rd, 2003 10:56 am
tinhuvielartanis: (Maul)
I really do despise her.

User
Abuser
Grifter
Cheater
Liar
Manipulator

When O when will she build up enough karma to have the Mighties kick her arse six ways to Sunday?
Will I get to see it when it happens?

....hope so.

drat...

Dec. 23rd, 2003 02:04 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Screwed)
I really hate it when I screw up because, when I do, it's always a major screw up.

I processed an order for 2000 DVD's that was supposed to be commercial product, but I flagged it as promo instead. Now I have 2000 drilled DVD's and an angry mountain man at Sanctuary probably wishing to god I were closer so he could throttle me. Not only that, but the company is going to have to pay for 2000 more DVD's to be manufactured.

damndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamndamn.

If there was even a hope of my getting a raise before, I seriously doubt I'd get one now.....
tinhuvielartanis: (Screwed)
Well, it looks like we'll be able to rework these Kiss DVD's instead manufacturing 2000 more. That will be considerably cheaper and now I don't feel nearly as devastated; nevertheless, I'm still horrified at myself.

::hits head on desk::
tinhuvielartanis: (Londo Mollari)
I haven't seen the movie yet, but I can already relate to this strip. Wheeee!
thou shalt clicketh )
tinhuvielartanis: (Sulk)
Another thing that pisses me off is self pity. That said, it's no surprise I'm so pissed off all the time. I can be such a brat for someone who wasn't ever really spoiled. Admitting it should be a step in the direction of rectifying this character flaw; nevertheless, I am still battling issues of resentment, self-pity, sullenness, and general sour grapes.

While everyone around me focuses on positive matters, this gloomy girl insists on focusing her attention on what's wrong with the world. Most of it is microcosmic and pertinent only to me in my sheltered, pathetic little world. The only thing that isn't is Dubya's opening of Tongass to Earth rapists. Words can't express my pure unadulterated crystalline hatred of this monster who has control of our country.

The rest of it is self-pity, pure and simple.

I'm being bratty about the parental issues again. I see them living lives I can only dream of, then I look at my current situation, working two jobs and living in DUNCAN. Some would say "at least you own your home," but it's really no consolation for someone who thought she'd be a journalist in London by the time she was 35...that was last year. ::sigh:: I envy the parental units their luxuries and wonder if, perhaps, they might not would have had it so good had they chosen to be responsible and raise their progeny instead of abanoning her at the age of 6.

Of course, I wouldn't want to have been raised by anyone else other than my grandmother and Aunt Tudi, simply because the mother unit and the father unit never really connected with me on any important level. I never truly felt love from them or any sense of security. At least I had that.

Then there's the whole surgery issue. I can't truly rest until I know for certain what the insurance company is going to say. The closer I get to 1 January, the more stressed I become. Part of me wants to believe that it will all pan out, but another part screams out that I should only expect the worst so I can deal with the inevitable disappointment. Then there's the issue of affording the supplies I'll need if I am approved for the surgery. I don't have a wealthy benefactor who will buy me every little thing I need or want should I merely crook an eyebrow in his direction... Yes, I know Llew would do that for me, but he's already done it once for Melanie as he should, being her dad and loving her as he does. No one in my family who can afford it cares enough about me to help me in that manner and the family who would help can't, so there's the nagging fear that I'm going to be ill-prepared if I get the surgery. It's kind of scary and demoralising.

Then there's my knee. Yesterday, I squatted for a very long time as I attempted to gather drops of urine from Paisley and today my knee is three times it's normal size and I'm limping around like Long John Silver with his peg leg. My mental lower lip quivers at the thought that I'm lame at 36.

Speaking of Paisley, she has a bladder infection and is now on antibiotics for the next 10 days. The vet bill was atrocious, so there's that additional financial worry for me to enjoy as I do my budget balancing next week. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. How was I to know it was a freakin' freight train?

Last, but not least, there's Llew. He went back to work the day after the doc gave him back his walking rights. I haven't seen him since and I've spoken with him very little. When I have spoken with him, he's been rather distant and a bit testy with me. Yeah, I know it's because he's in pain and he's overdoing it working 10 to 12 hours a day, but it's still a bit disheartening to be set aside for seemingly more important activities. Granted, that's not the case, but this is how I feel. I just feel in the way, inconvenient, and irritating.

Given my mood, the irritating part is probably very true. Xmas always finds me in this mood. I used to expect so much more and was always disappointed. Now I don't expect anything but a hassle, but I'm still disappointed when that's exactly what I get.

I'm such a brat and I need to be smacked upside the head and put to bed without supper.

wah wah wah

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