Dads Part II

Lew's dad's funeral is tomorrow. Lew had to arrange everything as it seems he was designated as the executor of his dad's estate. It's been really difficult on him so far. He has a ways to go.

Before I could even begin to make amends with Daddy, he lashed out at Aunt Tudi and declared that he didn't ever want to hear from her again. Mind you, he's done this before. He's deeply depressed...even more so after his bypass surgery....and he needs to be on anti-depressants in a major way.

But I can't help but think that he will never change and, no matter how much I reach out, I will simply end up getting burned again. So, I'm still debating on whether I should even bother and if it would make any difference in the long run.

Turn of the Coin

I've always been fascinated with BDSM and have dabbled in it here and there, mostly on the Domme side, as that has tended to be my main area of interest, but I've played both roles, if the truth be known.

Of late, though, I have become enamoured with the other side of BDSM. The art of submission has me curious.

So I purchased the 'Story of O' online a little over a week ago and it should be coming in the mail anytime now, hopefully today. I can hardly wait to read this. Also coming are the 'Sleeping Beauty' books by Anne Rice. I've heard lots of good things about these from various sub individuals and, since I already love and admire Anne Rice, I thought this was a wise purchase.

I don't know if I'm becoming something other than what I've been for so long. I mean, I've played at being both but have always preferred the Domme role. I'm actually curious to know if others in this arena have switched from one to the other permanently...like anything is ever bloody permanent. What shifts inside a person to make such a change?

What may be shifting in me?