Masks

May. 1st, 2009 10:15 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Joker_Upside Down)
[personal profile] tinhuvielartanis
While Aunt Tudi and I were out paying bills today (while we still can, that is), I spied a woman be-bopping around with a blue mask over her face, and I thought about something: wouldn't it be hilarious if all these bozos wearing anti-bug masks ended up with cancer caused by a chemical used in making the masks, and they all ended up withering away from that despite surviving the OMG Pandemic? I know that's an "awful thing" to think, but for god's sake, this whole swine flu thing is ridiculous. If they start having to pile the bodies up and burn them, I might take it a little more seriously. Until then, it's nothing more than a minor outbreak of a minor bugaboo. The regular flu is, so far, much deadlier.

And those masks? Does "pocket full of posies" ring a bell, anyone? Get a freakin' clue! Nothing is going to prevent your getting this thing if it crosses your path and your immune system isn't ready to fight it off. Get on with your pathetic lives and stop making me write such misanthropic posts! Wait a minute... I changed my mind. What would I write about if humanity suddenly got its collective shit together? I'd have to shut down the Cliffs of Insanity! The blog would become misanthropically bankrupt and go begging for bail-out stupidity just to hang on by its fingernails. Please, people, please keep on being stupid!

And, if this H1N1 Super-Dooper Captain Trips Mutant Piggy Bug happens to kill the majority of us off, my only prayer, should I be one of the unlucky survivors, is that my fellow survivors remain as slack-jawed stupid as the current population.

::skips off singing that special little "nursery rhyme" so beloved of the little children::

x-posted to [livejournal.com profile] misanthrope_inc
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