tinhuvielartanis | J and his music, and a time line... (Reply)

I couldn't leave it alone. Just couldn't. Besides, looks like I'll have more time on my hands to write hoo-ha like this anyway, so why the hell not? It lifts what few spirits I have left. Oh, and this is definitely written with the fangirls in mind. I think more dancing Joker could do every fan a little good.

I checked the time, it was almost time
A curious smell, an intangible crime
I’m washing my clothes, but the stain still grows
Cover your eyes, the stain still shows

The Joker danced to the full-on funk of Spandau Ballet’s “Chant No. 1.” He was not averse to dancing or singing, really, although many in his inner circle, or what they thought was his inner circle, assumed that he was supposedly too smooth or too crazy to enjoy either one. They were wrong about so many things. Like being part of his inner circle. The Joker’s inner circle comprised the Joker and nobody else. People were nothing but pawns to him. Some of them were more important pawns because he could more readily use them, but they were pawns nonetheless.

I feel the graze against my skin, I feel the graze against my skin
I know this feeling is a lie, I know this feeling is a lie
There’s a guilt within my mind, there’s a guilt within my mind

I don’t need this pressure on.

No, he didn’t need any pressure on. And he had no pressure, or guilt for that matter. The Joker had never in his life felt one shred of guilt over anything. Well, not that he could remember anyway. There were certain holes in the Joker’s memory, or so it seemed at times. It could just be that he chose not to remember. Or it could be the brain butchers’ achievements up at Arkham.

You go down, down
Pass the talk of the town
You go down Greek street
Then it’s underground
Well it’s Soho life
For this mobile knife
It’s the place to shoot
Friday night ‘Beat Route’

And then it was back to the chorus. This song kicked all manner of ass, much like the Joker when he was at the top of his game. And that was more often the case than not. When things went wrong, it was usually because of something one of his “inner circle” did or failed to do. That usually meant they were no longer part of his inner circle because they were fucking dead. Goons and henchmen were easily replaceable and easily lied to, just like the Joker’s so-called fans. A little whisper in the ear of the right girl and whoomp!~there it was! The Joker chuckled to himself. That’s what it was going to be tonight. This “mobile knife” was heading into town tonight and he intended on using that little whisper on some lucky girl.

There was no “pressure on,” but the Joker liked to sing that he didn’t need it anyway, and sing he did, as he danced about his bedroom listening to the iPod so generously gifted to him by the lovely dentist, Dr. Romello, apparently for his godlike lovemaking and flawless dental hygiene. The music he’d found on this 30 gig obelisk of joy had been an almost religious experience for the Joker. Mary Romello may have had a large stick up her arse, but her taste in music was shockingly excellent, almost anti-Romello in nature. Of course, J had had to delete a few tunes and add some of his own, like some Johnny Cash songs. Anyone who didn’t like the Man in Black needed killin’. The Joker would be happy to volunteer for that duty, should it ever come available. He’d almost de-masked the Bat and almost killed him on more than one occasion, so the Joker had little doubt that he could off a few anti-Cash idiots in no time at all. He wouldn’t even have to invent some ingenious method by which to rid the world of such scum. Sometimes you just needed to keep it simple.

He hoped to keep things simple tonight. After his last date, the Joker had been more than a little introspective and too moody for anyone’s good. Three of his “inner circle” had been gutted because they encroached on the Joker’s version of naval-gazing. Maybe what he was feeling was guilt. More likely, he was feeling regretful for not keeping Sister Agnes around for further corruption before taking her young life.

The scuttlebutt surrounding Sister Agnes and the discovery of her death was more than a little amusing, though. Half of the people who knew the state in which she’d been found were certain a psychopath was on the loose. Dingdingding! Give those dogs a bone and let ‘em fight for it! The other half were absolutely positive that Sister Agnes was the new Anneliese Michel and should be canonized immediately, her remains interred with reverence and not a small amount of high ceremony. Give those dogs a whack on the head made from the Newspaper of God. People could be such morons. Could be…. The Joker shook his head and began to laugh out loud. Correction. People were such morons! It was his job to show them how stupid they were before they died. It was a calling much like Sister Agnes’ calling to God. Well, she got another call, didn’t she?

He wondered what Wayne thought about the whole dirty ordeal. He was certain the Bat-in-Hiding recognized her pretty Scots-Irish face in the paper. He was also certain that Wayne had gotten the whole story about her death and how she was found, all that was tastefully eliminated from the Gotham news sources.

Oh, now “Swing” by Savage and Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em was on. That’s one of the ones the Joker added. Excellent dancing and….other things….music. The Joker had only one weakness and that was a weakness for good funky music. He felt it matched his personality, what with his being the Clown Prince of Crime and all. He had an obligation to get his funk on at every possible opportunity. It wasn’t just the girls who could drop it low and let their hips swing, of that he could assure the whole freakin’ world. He moved about the room, spinning a purple hat up one arm and down the other, debating on whether or not to wear it. Deciding to let his freshly-dyed green hair speak for itself, the Joker threw the hat across the room and let it stay where it landed, on the floor in amongst a dusty pile of defaced dollar bills.

I've been thinking about a time line for the Date Series, just to put things in perspective, not that any of it is of any real importance. I guess it's just fun to ponder. Anyway, here's what I came up with, it being based primarily on J's possession of the infamous evil iPod of Dread. For those who've read them all and see any glaring flaws in this time line, please let me know. In the meantime, I'll continue to see where this latest scary bit of hilarity takes me with my funky, groovy Mad Hatter.

The Date Series Time Line

The Nurse's Date aka How the Joker Got His Hospital Uniform

The Hippie's Date

The Groupie's Date

The Actress' Date

The Professor's Date

The Dentist's Date

The Goth Chick's Date aka The One that Got away

The Pet Shop Clerk's Date

The Asylum Attendant's Date

The Nun's Date

Now, I may change this time line to suit whatever freakish needs I have at any time, so don't carve this into some Rosetta Stone or anything.

"Devil, pour me another shot!"