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tinhuvielartanisOkay, this is the last Asheville post.
Diane brought a loaf of bread in anticipation of going back to Lake Julian to feed the birds. We didn't bring any bread 'cos we forgot it like idjits, so I stopped by the Ingles on Hendersonville Road to pick up a few cheap loaves.
Before I go further with this story, I need to describe what an Ingles employee looks like and what I looked like on Tuesday. This is important. Ingles employees usually wear light blue smocks with the word "Ingles" on the breast. I was all in black (big surprise) and I had painted my left eyebrow on because of an unfortunate waxing incident earlier that morning. I looked nothing like an Ingles employee.
So imagine my surprise when an old woman stopped me almost the minute I came into the store and got my shopping cart. She said, "Caaaan you help me find deh ploom? I need deh ploom."
"Uhm...the what?"
"You know. Ploom. Like rezzin. Dried ploom."
"Oh. Plums?"
"Yes. Caaaan you tell me wheere dey are?"
Okay, so this woman was apparently from Lower Slobovia where grocery store employees dress in black and have partial left eyebrows. She needed help, so I decided to play along. I tried to tell her where deh ploom were, but she argued with me that they weren't there. Deh ploom are always in the same place in every Ingles store. I tried to tell her that, but she didn't understand. So I offered to show her. She gave her cart to her husband and told him to stay put, that I was taking her to deh ploom.
I took the old Slobovian lady to deh ploom, and this made her extremely happy. She obviously had some serious regularity problems.
After that, I got the bread and headed back up front where I saw an actual Ingles employee trying to tell the old woman's husband where deh ploom were and she found herself leading him over to produce. While I was checking out, the old woman approached me again and said, "I heff deh ploom, now I heff lost my hoozbind."
"I saw him following an employee over to the plums as I came back up front," I said. She thanked me and toddled back over to deh ploom.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw the happy Slobovian couple leaving Ingles with their ploom, probably preparing to have a major ploom party and colon cleanse on an eventful Tuesday eve.
Deh Eeend.
Diane brought a loaf of bread in anticipation of going back to Lake Julian to feed the birds. We didn't bring any bread 'cos we forgot it like idjits, so I stopped by the Ingles on Hendersonville Road to pick up a few cheap loaves.
Before I go further with this story, I need to describe what an Ingles employee looks like and what I looked like on Tuesday. This is important. Ingles employees usually wear light blue smocks with the word "Ingles" on the breast. I was all in black (big surprise) and I had painted my left eyebrow on because of an unfortunate waxing incident earlier that morning. I looked nothing like an Ingles employee.
So imagine my surprise when an old woman stopped me almost the minute I came into the store and got my shopping cart. She said, "Caaaan you help me find deh ploom? I need deh ploom."
"Uhm...the what?"
"You know. Ploom. Like rezzin. Dried ploom."
"Oh. Plums?"
"Yes. Caaaan you tell me wheere dey are?"
Okay, so this woman was apparently from Lower Slobovia where grocery store employees dress in black and have partial left eyebrows. She needed help, so I decided to play along. I tried to tell her where deh ploom were, but she argued with me that they weren't there. Deh ploom are always in the same place in every Ingles store. I tried to tell her that, but she didn't understand. So I offered to show her. She gave her cart to her husband and told him to stay put, that I was taking her to deh ploom.
I took the old Slobovian lady to deh ploom, and this made her extremely happy. She obviously had some serious regularity problems.
After that, I got the bread and headed back up front where I saw an actual Ingles employee trying to tell the old woman's husband where deh ploom were and she found herself leading him over to produce. While I was checking out, the old woman approached me again and said, "I heff deh ploom, now I heff lost my hoozbind."
"I saw him following an employee over to the plums as I came back up front," I said. She thanked me and toddled back over to deh ploom.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw the happy Slobovian couple leaving Ingles with their ploom, probably preparing to have a major ploom party and colon cleanse on an eventful Tuesday eve.
Deh Eeend.
