Newborns scare me. I refused to hold my niece for more than about 30 seconds until she was capable of holding her own head up!

They start out red, wrinkled and goopy, then go all floppy and poo and puke everywhere. Then they get noisy, expensive and later stroppy, then they make spawn of their own.

Then they go all floppy and poo and puke everywhere again, and just before death they are red, wrinkled and goopy again.