tinhuvielartanis: (Asthma Hound Chihuahua)
Sorry for the misspellings, but when you're out of your head with pain, that's kinda what happens.

Your Review View business Between Scripps H. and Tracy E. Back to your inbox Tracy E. Tracy E. San Diego, CA 27 4 Your review of Scripps Mercy Hospital San Diego 1.0 star rating 6/16/2016 I've had a migraine for 5 days. The third night, after two visits to this hellhole, I tried to hangng myself because the pain was so bad and I just wanted it to end. Almost succeeded. These people are a joke. If you are in pain, even severe, they treat you like a criminal junkie. The only thing that helps my migraine is 2 mg of injected dilaudid (pill form come back i\up because of nausea and vomiting). All they gave me was toradol (when I told them it doesn't work, phernergan (which gives me severe restless legs, and reglan to counteract the phengern. I did get some sleep for the first time in days, but I woke up myself up pooping on myelf. excessively, and still had the migraine. Turns out reglan causes massive diahrrea. So I had to clean myself up, after no food for days, still with the worst migraine ever. Decided to go to out of network and went to Sharp. They gave me my shot, and after 2 hours, no pain. Screw Scripps. Their title "MERCY' is in oxymoron. They'd rather have people suffer and even commit suicide than risk an addition. DON'T GO HERE. If you have a network that accepts only this, go out of network until you can find a decent medical network that doesn't treat you like a lying piece of trash.

"Scripps H. Scripps H. Manager Block & Report Owner Scripps H.'s comment on your review: Hello, Tracy, Thank you for taking the time to review your experience. We are happy to hear you are no longer in pain. It is our mission to provide the highest quality service and medical care to our patients and we are sorry your experience at Mercy San Diego did not meet these standards. We value your feedback and would like to learn more. If you are interested in speaking to a patient advocate, please respond to our private message. We appreciate your time and look forward to speaking with you directly. Sincerely, Your friends at Scripps Scripps H. Scripps H. Manager One hour ago Block & Report Owner Hi, Tracy, Thank you again for reviewing your recent experience at Scripps Mercy Hospital San Diego. We understand your concerns and would appreciate the opportunity to learn more and help, if possible. To speak with a patient advocate, please reply to this message with your full name and phone number; an advocate will reach out directly. Of course we understand not everybody wishes to have further communication, and if that's the case, we respect your decision. Whatever your choice, please know we value your feedback and have already shared your review with management. We wish you good health and a great weekend. - Your friends at Scripps

Tracy E. Tracy E. San Diego, CA 27 4 52 minutes ago What do you mean I am no longer in pain? I had to go back to my PCP who did did little to help me until I can get into pain management. I'll most likely have to visit SHARP again before I get to see the doctor on Friday, at $75 a pop, which I DON'T have. You wasted me five pairs of panties from explosive diarrhea, did NOTHING for my pain, gave me medication I said did not work and will probably charge my insurance for it, probably "prayed" for me, like so-called mercy-givers do, gave me not only restless legs but restless body from from the phenergen. Do you know what it's not like to not be able to stop moving when you have a severe migraine? My doctor couldn't even get blood from me today because I am so dehyadrated from not being able to hold anything down. I TRIED TO HANG MYSELF THREE DAYS AGO BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE. Unfornunately, I did not succeed. When my enrollment period comes up, I'm going to try to get as a far away from SCRIPPS "MERCY" as possible. I don't know why you're congratulating yourself for helping me with my migraine, but it was SHARP who did it, NOT YOU. And I'll probably have to go back to them before Friday, so thanks for exacerbating my poverty. Right now, I would LITERALLY DIE than darken your medaeival doors again. If your definition of mercy comes out of the middle ages, perhaps you should rethink your line of work because, right now, you're costing people sanity, sleep, relief, and EVEN LIFE. You're not my friend. If my head begins to feel it explodes, I'm coming to you, just so you get to feel the nice warm goodness of my untreated headache. I hate you.

My tweets

Jun. 17th, 2016 12:00 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Default)
tinhuvielartanis: (Londo Mollari)

Let's a wee survey, just for shits and giggles...


NAME: Tracy Angelina

NICKNAMES: Tinhuviel, Tin, TinTin, T, George, Dumpling, Darth Shriek
GENDER: Female-ish

STAR SIGN: Virgo-sun, Libra-moon, Sagittarius-rising

HEIGHT: 5’5”

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Aesthetically, straight.  I’m very attracted to the male form.  In actual practice, I’d have to say I’m asexual, as I’m just not interested.

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Sytherin

FAVOURITE COLOUR: Green

TIME RIGHT NOW: 3 PM Pacific Daylight Time

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: Maybe around 3, if I’m lucky.

LUCKY NUMBER: 5 and increments there of.

LAST THING I GOOGLED: Solar flares

FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER: Tom Hardy.  Yeah, I know he’s not fictional, but he’s damned close, in my personal canon.
NUMBER OF BLANKETS I SLEEP UNDER: One, but it’s really thick.
FAVOURITE BAND OR ARTIST: I have five.  They are:  1) Shriekback 2) Electric Light Orchestra 3) XTC 4) Oingo Boingo 4) Concrete Blonde.
DREAM TRIP: One way to England.
DREAM JOB: Writing in various capacities.
WHEN DID YOU CREATE THIS BLOG: 3 June, 2002.
CURRENT AMOUNT OF FOLLOWERS: 282
WHAT DO YOU POST ABOUT?: Anything and everything.  If I’m able to write about it, I’ll do my best to do just that, here on the Cliffs.

tinhuvielartanis: (Cliffs of Insanity)

On 3 June, 2002, a fellow Shrieker and longtime tribeswoman sent me an invitation to join LiveJournal. Fourteen years, and an assload of comedy, tragedy, weirdness, and wonder later, I am still here.

The only thing that will stop my association with LJ would be my death.

Or The Alpaca Lips.

My tweets

May. 1st, 2016 02:09 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Default)
tinhuvielartanis: (Angry Writer)

Five Problems with Social Media


  1. Grammar and spelling. It wasn’t, and generally still isn’t, that evident on social media sites like LiveJournal and Dreamwidth, but social media sites that limit the size of posts have the unfortunate side-effect of encouraging people to make spelling and grammatical shortcuts, in order to get the most bang for their posting buck.  Twitter, I’m looking at you, here.  Sadly, it’s beginning to bleed over into “real life” writing habits, breeding a new generation of illiterate morons who will spell wait as w8, even when they have no word or character limits.

  2. Keyboard Warriors. Not everything on Earth or in the virtual world is a fucking trigger.  Get over yourselves and stop making everyone who is unfortunate enough to attract your attention miserable.

  3. Selfies. We’ve all made them, yes.  But you don’t have to make them every day, much less more frequently.  Instagram has got to be the best thing to happen for narcissists, and the worst thing to happen for everyone else, in the history of Teh Intarwebz.

  4. Emojis. This kinda ties in with #1.  On many social media sites, you don’t have to use words to express how you’re feeling anymore.  You need only post an image of a thing with a face that best represents you at that moment.  Even though it comes in handy, when you don’t have the ability to say “I’m feeling a little sniffly right now.  I may be coming down with a cold”, when you are able to write out how you’re feeling, using emojis so much may dull your ability to go beyond adding what is essentially a cave painting to a message board.

  5. Lack of Fact-Checking. I’m guilty of this just as much as anyone else, even though I try to be as attentive as possible.  In a world where anyone can claim they are a journalist, and images can so easily be manipulated, you really can’t completely trust anything you see, especially on social media.  The problem is exacerbated by people blindly reposting misinformation, based solely on the headline, often without even reading the article itself, much less double checking what’s being reported.

Loss

Apr. 25th, 2016 04:02 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Hickey Monster)
the_loss_by_whiluna-d9h0l0s.png.jpeg

Last Tuesday, I officially ended an almost 30-year friendship that unofficially ended when I was thrown into grief over losing Aunt Tudi.  It would seem that suicidal depression and self-isolation clears the room every damned time.  I’m not saying anything further about it, because there’s nothing more to say, except for one thing.  The friendship could often be very toxic but, because of who we were and how we were treated before we met, the two of us always ended up back together.  It won’t happen this time.  There are too many miles, tears, and life-changes between us now.  I will miss him but, honestly, I’ve been missing him since he moved across the country back in the 90s.  It’s time to accept the inevitable.

In other loss news, I’m still reeling over the death of Prince.  From the moment I heard and saw him in the Controversy video, I was in love with his music and in lust with him.  From 1981 until his death, that never changed, and it never will.  After so many losses of beloved musicians so far this year (fuck you, 2016.  fuck you hard.), I’m pretty much walking around in a combination of stunned grief and abject fear.  Why the fear?  Well, there’s Shriekback, Barry Andrews and Carl Marsh in particular, with whom I’ve developed a good friendship/acquaintance and a fine working relationship over the years.  Then there’s Jeff Lynne, who’s resurrected ELO I’m supposed to finally get to see in concert after ages of dreaming.  If any of them passES this year, I’m going to lose my fucking shit.  I’m not exaggerating here.  I can barely handle thinking and writing about it.

My tweets

Apr. 20th, 2016 03:14 am
tinhuvielartanis: (Default)
tinhuvielartanis: (Dodo)

Whitley Strieber is now channeling his dead wife Anne and, if you subscribe to Dreamland (the portion of Unknown Country people have to pay for [I almost subscribed years ago!]), you can learn more about her messages from beyond.  I can't decide if he's completed his journey to the Cuckoo's Nest, having lost the woman he so clearly adored, or if he's ramped up his charlatan side and decided to steal a little thunder from the likes of John Edward.  At any rate, when someone starts claiming that they're talking to the dead, or having the dead talk through them, my respect for them is gravely damaged.  I've always supported Whitley Strieber, even when what he's saying borders on kooky.  I believe he experienced something and that the Greys were involved.  'Communion' touched me in ways I can't even properly express in written or spoken language.  But this "my dead wife is imparting great wisdom through me" schtick is going a bit too far, even for me.

tinhuvielartanis: (Tarmi)


The last time I lived in Asheville, the year was 1981.  What’s so odd is, I’m more homesick now than I have been in the 35 years I’ve been gone.  Last night, I browsed images of the Blue Ridge Parkway, Craggy Gardens and Craggy Dome in particular, since that’s where Aunt Tudi’s and Granny’s ashes are scattered.


I don’t know why I do shit like that to myself.  I know it’s only going to serve to make me feel like someone has patiently and carefully picked out my solar plexus with a dull spork, yet I do it all the same.  I posted some of the pics I found on Facebook last night, and the response they received was as I expected:  awe and wonder on behalf of those who took the time to take a gander.


And that is how it should be.  The sights available on the Blue Ridge Parkway are a feast for both the eyes and the soul.  Add to the mix the deep connectedness of loved ones whose last physical presence was designated to be amongst the rhododendrons and Faerie structures partially hidden in the silent mists of the Smoky Mountains, and you have yourself a perfect recipe for mental chest-clenching and a losing battle with that giant lump in your throat.


I haven’t been able to suss why I’m more homesick now than I was just a year ago until now.  I believe it’s because, even though I’ve been gone from Asheville for decades, I still had the comfort of being able to visit at least every once in a while.  I no longer have that option.  Asheville is almost 2500 miles away from me now, a far cry from the 75 measly miles that separated Duncan and the Land O’Sky.  Even when I could no longer drive, I still had more of a chance and opportunity to return home and visit Craggy Gardens.


Now, that lifeline has been severed.  I really am a stranger in a strange land.  That said, I have decided on something just today:  in the very slim chance the Mother Unit passes before I do, I'm going home.  I'm certainly not staying in San Diego with Matt.  I know he'd be as dead set against such an arrangement as I obviously am.

Anyway...


A Facebook friend and fellow hedge Witch, Granny Kate, posted a link to an independent movie project called Asheville: The Movie.  Here’s a little bit on the story.  Click the image at the top of this post to read more about that and the company instrumental in making the film a reality.



A story about a young man’s journey into the cultural creative world of Asheville, NC. John Craft is a middleclass community college student from the Midwest who is studying business to prepare for a career in his father’s paper company. He hears about a free spirited town in the North Carolina Mountains called Asheville. It is where the new age/indigo people of America are going and John wants to check it out before settling into a life of running the family business.

After a series of coincidental messages, John packs up and heads to this conscious town in the land of the Cherokee. When he arrives he finds himself at the Friday Night Drum Circle. A young raven haired free spirited girl name Star Seed, pulls him out on the dance floor and after some exotic inspiration, influences John to let loose and join in the tribal festivities.

John is invited by Star Seed to stay at a community house called “The Vortex”, where he meets 10 eclectic young adults and one wise elder who shows him the way of “Fully Living and Being Aware.” The house is full of unique characters who each share their passions and metaphysical/progressive beliefs.



Ayahuasca even plays into the film’s plot, which is monumental, considering I’ve been doing extensive research on that and DMT and their potential to help heal psychologically and spiritually broken people like myself.  Yet another one of those inescapable interludes of synchronicity.


The film is currently in production.  I’ve saved the webpage so I can keep up on its progress and when/if I’ll get to screen it.  This is definitely a must-see in Tin’s World.


In other news, I stumbled across a picture of Adolf Hitler Donald Trump that reminded me of a cute puppy I’d seen before.  I’m not saying Drumpf is cute, because he’s not.  He never has been, never will be, and he needs to have that orange thing he calls a face removed by an industrial belt sander, but the resemblance in expression is eerie.  Judge for yourself.


One final word about home, here are some of the images of Craggy Gardens I posted on Facebook last night.  To see the larger image, just click on the ones here.  If you aren’t spiritually moved by the supernatural beauty of found in these photographs, you might want to see a psychiatrist.


maxresdefault 11.47.05 PM.jpg
l_unknown.jpg
craggy_pinnacle.jpg
BRP-Cr5.jpg
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288651_b4315298c30a433cf43fce5ac07a2435_large.jpg    

After the past 36 hours of pining for Asheville, North Carolina, like never before, one thing is certain:

I NEED TO GO HOME.

tinhuvielartanis: (Crone)

Why do people ask you to pray for them or others who have lost a loved one to death?  What good does it do?  It’s not going to bring the person back.  It won’t comfort any of the living, unless they’re delusional, which may be a good thing.  Being delusional during a time of great loss can ease the pain because you’re fucking delusional.  But prayer isn’t going to do shit for anyone.  God isn’t going to speak to anyone, except for the ones who stopped their meds during this time of grief.  It probably doesn’t exist and, in the slim chance it does, it’s too busy inspiring other delusional fuckers to oppress and kill their fellow Earthlings. 

 

Fuck that noise.

 

How many times did people say to me “I’ll pray for you” after Aunt Tudi died?  A lot of them, the Christians and xtians mainly, didn’t even ask for permission.  They just told me how it was going to be, whether I liked it or not.  Thanks for the support, assholes.  I got to where I was pretty aggressive about telling them, “no you won’t.  I don’t want your prayers.  I don’t want anything like that, and I don’t give you permission to speak to your imaginary friend on my behalf.  You’re not my representative.  If you were, I’d ask you tell your pal in the sky to go fuck itself.”

 

Yes, I’m still angry about it.  Every time I see someone make a prayer request for someone who’s suffered the death of a friend or family member, it makes me want to take a sledge hammer to anything that will break under the weight of my rage.

 

I don’t want to hear how everything happens for a reason and that god is good.  I didn’t in 2011 and I still don’t.  Keep your Wiccan candle-lighting and “in Jesus’ name”’s away from me.  I don’t require sitting shiva, nor do I need any petitions to Allah on my behalf.  The same goes for any other religion, god, prayer, or rattle-shaking.  

 

Someone has died.  No one will ever speak to them again.  The ones who feel the pain the most don’t need the condescending clichés that infect our modern grieving process.  In my case, and in many others’ if they’d be honest, it just makes things a thousand times worse.  When you’re grieving, you don’t hear god.  All you hear is the buzzing drone of inconsolability.  If you’re too selfish in your personal beliefs to respect that, and still feel compelled to bring a deity into the mix, then fuck you, get out of my life.

Christ

Apr. 15th, 2016 03:19 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Angry Writer)

CHRIST

 

The faithful condemn, they condone persecution,

as the suicides plummet with nowhere to turn.

For, if Christ cannot love them, then why should they live?

And, if God won't accept them, then they'll just have to burn.

 

There is only one faith and one road to be traveled,

which leads to that mountain where Man may find love.

But there's only a handful of rich men and preacher men

Able to lie and reach Heaven above.

 

So the suicides have to be burning in Hell now

and those of us left are just souls lost in sin.

And we're told by the faithful how evil we are

and that we must give them money to be born again.

 

But I can't help but think that, if Christ came to Earth now,

a pauper, hippie, a heretic man,

the faithful who worship him would crown him with thorns again,

call him a sinner and drive nails in his hands.

 

And we who have wandered a world without meaning

would find there a martyr who, for us, his life lost,

then our children will reign in some bigoted future

and impale the same outcast on the hypocrites' cross.

 

©Tracy A. Evans / 31 August, 1990

My tweets

Apr. 13th, 2016 12:01 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Default)

My tweets

Apr. 9th, 2016 12:01 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Default)
tinhuvielartanis: (Torquemada)

I haven’t done one of these in about 10,000 years, so let’s get this show on the road.



This is all true. photo 1264091_10153348891685721_288267917_o.jpg1. Full name: Tracy Angelina Evans
2. Nicknames: Tin, Tinhuviel, George, Darth Shriek
3. Birthplace: Asheville, North Carolina USA
4. Birthday: 10 September, 1967
5. Where Do You Live Now?: San Diego, California
6. Parent(s): Father Unit has passed.  Mother Unit is here in San Diego.
7. Sibling(s): ZERO
8. Looks: Better off invisible.
9. Favourite Animal(s): Anything non-human, except for millipedes and centipedes.  Like humans, they can go fuck themselves.
10. Favorite TV Show(s): Impractical Jokers, Better Call Saul



11. Favorite Kind(s) Of Music: Most everything but Country and Opera.
12. Favorite Movie(s): Sci-Fi, Unusual, Conceptual, Foreign
13. School: Some college, focusing on English and Veterinary Assistance
14. Future School: I’m too old for this question. The Chapel Perilous

15. Future Job: Testing new, effective sleep aids.
16. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: nah
17. Best Buds: I’m a bit of a hermit these days.
18. Favorite Candy: Milk Dud
19. Hobbies: Music, reading, writing
20. Things You Collect: Grudges, CDs, movies, moments in time.



21. Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: Yes
22. Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex? The eyes and brain
23. Any Tattoos And Where Of What?: Red & Black Triskele on right hand, Green Shriekback logo on left hand, Mwanza Flat-headed Agama with green and blue hues instead of pinkish and blue.
24. Piercing(s) And Where?: not anymore
25. What Do You Sleep in?: clothing
26. Do you like Chain Letters: aw HELL NAW.
27. Best Advice: Reality is peripheral.
28. Favorite Quotes: Hope for the best, expect the worst. - Mel Brooks.
29. Non-sport Activity You Enjoy: sleep
30. Dream Car: A transporter



31. Favorite Thing To Do In Spring: Avoid the sun.
32. What’s Your Bedtime: Whenever I’m lucky.
33. Where Do You Shop: Wherever I can.
34. Coke or Pepsi: Cheerwine

35. Favorite Thing(s) To Wear?: Something loose that will allow me to blend into my surroundings.
36. Favorite Subject(s) In School: English and Creative Writing

37. Favorite Color(s): Green, Red, Black
38. Favorite People To Talk To Online: People with brains and a wicked sense of humour that has set them on the road to Hell.

39. Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper? Root beer

40. Do You Shave? I’m too old for that bullshit.




41. Favorite Vacation Spot(s): I don’t do vacations.  My favourite place to BE is England.
42. Favorite Family Member(s): Smidgen
43. Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were a Kid? WHAT?
44. Favorite CD you own: Currently Without Real String or Fish by Shriekback
45. The ONE Person Who You Hate The Most: Going with an old standard here and saying Pat Robertson.
46. Favorite Food(s)?: Potatoes
47. Who Is The Hottest Guy or Girl In The World?: I have a very short list.
48. What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?: Bleu Cheese.
49. When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned Into Ashes? I don’t care, as long as I end up on Craggy Dome.
50. Do You Believe In Aliens?: Absolutely.








51. If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something, What would You Do? I’m already a Professional Misanthropist.
52. Things You Obsess Over: Various artists, ideas, philosophies, theories, general weirdness
53. Favorite Day of the Week: Don’t bloody care.
54. An Authority Figure You Hate: The Feudal Mistress still tops the list.
55. Favorite Disney Movie: Bambi
56. What Is Your Favorite Season? Winter
57. What Toppings Do You Like On Your pizza? Cheese, with extra cheese, and cheese on the side.
58. Do You Like Your School Food Itself (As In The District Food): I never ate it.
59. If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live? Avebury, Wiltshire, UK
60. Favorite Thing(s) To Do On Weekends: Sleep, if I can accomplish it.







61. Favorite Magazine(s): Don’t have one.
62. Favorite Flower(s): White rose

63. Favorite Number(s): 5

64. Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): Ben & Jerry’s Wavy Gravy

65. What Kind of Guys/Girls Are You Attracted to?: Dangerously intelligent, beautiful, talented, and hilarious.

66. What’s Your Most Embarrassing Moment? I inadvertently introduced myself to someone as his wife.

67. If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It be? I would be fearless.

68. Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush first ten eat breakfast: breakfast first.

69. Favorite Time of Day: Whenever I get to sleep.

70. Can A Guy and Girl Be Just “Best Friends?”: Why not?



71. Do You Ask The Girl/Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: I don’t go there anymore.

72. Do You Mind Paying For Sex? I never would.

73. What’s The Most Important thing In Someone’s Personality: Sentience

74. Do you have a pager or cell phone? Cell

75. Favorite Sport: Flambodious Butt-walking

76. What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received? Love

77. How Long Did This Letter Take You To Finish?: Not very long.

78. What Did You Listen To While Completing It?: Electric Light Orchestra’s Alone in the Universe.

79. Are you or would you like to be married in the near future (next 5 years)? NEGATIVE

80. Don’t u just hate how psychics never win the lottery? I hate it more than I don’t win the lottery. I hate psychics, especially the ones who claim to talk to your dead relatives.  They’re grifters who should be drawn and quartered.  The End.

Doctor Day

Mar. 30th, 2016 05:10 pm
tinhuvielartanis: (Darth Geek)

Today was doctor day.  I went to see Dr. Harrington at 11 and my new primary care physician at 2:30.  In between appointments, I slummed at Starbucks and surfed the Internet, but only after I tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and fell, seemingly to my death, only for the sidewalk to catch me - and my computer!  Thankfully, the comp wasn’t damaged.  

 

Anyone who tends to be mega-clumsy, has seizures, or is prone to passing out, needs to switch to the Mac because their computers are tough as fucking nails.

 

Anyway, I hadn’t seen Dr. Harrington since September.  It was my intention not to really get into anything, just get my prescriptions refilled, and be on my way.  Considering I’d just gone through another horribleday without Aunt Tudi, I wasn’t in the mood to rehash crap.  Somehow, though, he got me to talking about when the Parental Units broke up and what happened with me in the immediate aftermath.  I’m tired of talking about that.  When I go back to him, in July, I’m not walking down that road again.  There’s no reason to go there.

 

The new doctor was very thorough and took his time.  He concluded what I already had, that I had acute bronchitis.  I’m on a 5-day regimen of prednisone, and he wants to see me again on Monday, if the cough is no better.  I like him.  He does have funny hands, though.  They’re shiny and hairless.  He’s not particularly shiny anywhere else, but those hands would gleam in the sunlight.  I have already dubbed them Mannequin Hands.

 

I’m back at the house now, and thoroughly exhausted.  I have not been out for so long since in the first of the year.  Did I like it?  Can’t say as I did, being a hermit and all.

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The Cliffs of Insanity

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